


Learning To Trust

by fullmetalgallifreyan (js_who)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Dogs, F/M, M/M, and some fluff, but also angst, dog trainer au, hopefully a lot of dogs, nobody gets hurt trust me, okay maybe not physically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:25:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4647117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/js_who/pseuds/fullmetalgallifreyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is a dog trainer at the local shelter and centre. James Buchanan Barnes is an ex-prisoner now forced to do community service and dogs seemed to be the least boring thing. <br/>It's basically a little a idea that randomly popped into my head I myself have yet to know what will happen and where it leads my precious babies. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, here it is. The first chapter. Don't know how I should feel about it I hope the AU is appreciated. I mean who doesn't like dogs?!

„Rufus, SIT!“

The Yorkshire Terrier gave him a look of utter confusion.

„Rogers, I am sorry to dissapoint you but this dog is useless. I have told you, you should believe my words.“

„Thanks for your pessimism , Nat. It is as useless as you claim this dog is!“

Steve Rogers would never give up on a task. This little one came in 2 days ago so it didn't have to know anything by now.

It was his job as a dog trainer to teach him. 

He had to admit though that Rufus seemed rather dumb. 'Sit' was basically the easiest command to teach and usually dogs learned it within a few hours.

„Why not bring him back and get Donna and Barney? Taking a stroll together? This week's been tough.“, Natasha suggested grabbing Rufus' leash.

„Yeah, not a bad idea“

„I never have bad ideas, Stevie“

She threw him a glare but switched to a smile within seconds.

Sometimes she wondered if she shouldn't tease him that much but then again he wasn't as innocent as he seemed so he deserved it. And it was fun.

He was her little good-guy, naive fluffball and even though it sometimes annoyed her she appreciated his loyalty and kindness.

But that he agreed to take on this ridiculous dog as a second project was just dumb.

They brought Rufus back to his room and headed for the playground which was placed at the back end of the centre on a large green field.

Their dogs were laying under an old crooked apple tree looking up when Steve cranked the gate open.

„Hey, fellas, care for a walk?“, Nat greeted them and grabbed her doberman Donna at the collar to put on the leash.

She petted Donna's head and watched as Barney, Steve's labrador, greeted him jumping against Steve's chest.

„No, buddy!“, he demanded shoving him down“, „I am happy to see you, too, but we have to behave, alright?“ 

They walked down a small path and headed towards the forest which inhabited a small lake.

It was the first day of the year with a temperature of over 25 degrees so both decided to let the dogs take a bath.

„So, how is uni going?“ Nat glanced at him. It was a hot topic to talk about. Steve always studied way too seriously when it came to exams and stuff regarding homework so when it didn't work out the way he wished it had he could easily have a mental breakdown.

„Wrote my last exam on wednesday. Think I did fine. It's hard to tell though“, he answered.

„Hey, veterinary science isn't the easiest field of study so don't be too harsh with yourself. After all you sat in your room and even here in your office all day if you could.“

Steve smiled. 

It had been his dream to become a veterinary since he was in middle school.

The side-job as a dog trainer helped but it was also a lot of responsibility and the extra work didn't leave much room for free time.

He loved it though. Being around dogs. The only ones who wouldn't judge him on look and beliefs.

Barney had been at his side since he had started about 2 years ago becoming his first project dog after someone found him at the side of the road and brought him to the shelter. 

Actually he was supposed to find another home but despite his friendly attitude, especially towards children and other animals, nobody had been interested so far.

When he wasn't working or concentrating on his studies he hung out with Nat, Sam or spent his hours drawing.

As they let the dogs loose, which then ran and jumped into the cool water, both sat down and Steve took out his sketchbook.

„You are such a nerd.“ 

„I have an eye for beautiful scenery which apparently you don't“, he contered.

With a few strokes of his pencil he created a scetch of the lake and its surrounding plants.

„You better shouldn't do such nerdy stuff around the new helper next week. Heard he is freshly out of jail and has to serve community service. Tough guy, let's hope he won't beat your ass.“

„What makes you think he'll beat my ass and not yours?“ 

„I am Natasha Romanoff, you can't beat my ass that easily and besides: yours is pretty. It will attract him.“

She gave him a smile and stuck out her tongue. 

„Oh, shut up“

With that he layed back into the soft grass and closed his eyes. 

Many people had been at the centre having to do community service.

They would give the new one a calm dog to work with and advising him to help with general duties around the yard for a few months and that was it.

Last one had been a rebellious kid which had talked smack to everyone at first but then Steve had lifted him off his feet one time and it had been over for the rest of the months.

This one wouldn't be different. Maybe just a little older.

Suddenly his clothes became wet and as he opened his eyes a large tongue dragged itself over his face.

„Barney, no!“, he moaned, sat up and pushed the dog off of him.

Donna took place next to Natasha without getting one single drop on her mistress.

Steve clothes were soaked but he knew the summer heat would dry it quickly.

He wasn't one with a short temper. 

„Maybe we should go?“, Tasha suggested eyes still closed bathing in the warm sunlight, „It's getting late and we've been gone for a while.“

Steve came to his feet.

He lifted his shirt off his body and wrung some water out of it before putting it back on.

„Yeah, let's go.“ 

Trotting back they let the dogs run free.

„Can I ask you something?“, Steve broke the silence of the woods and kicked a stone into the next bush.

„You basically did already but yeah.“

„What is it with you and Sam?“ 

„Excuse me?“

„Hey, don't think I didn't notice this one weekend you spent together like all the time. I am his flat mate.“

„We were spending time together because you didn't want to come with us because you were busy studying. Not my problem if you don't wanna hang out.“ she said without looking at him.

Steve pouted.

„Oh, I am sorry. Did you miss me? Did I hit a soft spot with my question? I am so sooo sor- OW!“ 

„Shut up“, Natasha said hitting his shoulder again.   
„WHAT WAS THAT FOR?“

„Don't play dumb“

„You don't have to hit me for it!“ 

„No, I don't but I like it.“

She ran off leaving Steve behind and chasing Donna through the field.

Steve patted Barney who stayed right by his side and followed her.

 

Back at the centre's office they were greeted by their boss handing them the plans for the upcoming week.

„So, tomorrow this new guy is coming. If you coud show him around and everything that would be great.“

„Can we say 'no'?“, Natasha asked knowing the answer already.

„Does it look like there's a choice for you?“

„No, Mr. Coulson“, Steve answered before his friend could give another snarky comment.

Last named nodded in agreement and walked out on them.

As Steve faced Natasha again he noticed the look on her face.

„Steeeeve-“, she began.

„No, Nope!“, he spat out and turned on his heel.

„Oh, come on please! Could you show him around I don't have time!“, she tried to convince him.

Steve sighed but didn't think about stopping to talk.

„ You don't want to. That's the case and no, these puppy eyes don't work on me anymore!“ 

„But he could be a sexual predator and try to grope me“

„Thought you are Natasha Romanoff?“ 

„Please..“

„No.“

„I could give you one of my free weekends.“

That made the blond man stop.

„You have my attention“, he said turning back to a smiling Natasha.

 

It was way too early to get up.

Muttering 'fuck' repeatedly into his pillow didn't help Steve with his grumpy morning mood.

He had hit the snooze button about 3 times already and still wasn't able to keep his mind awake.

Inbetween the shrill ringing sounds it felt like it was only a few seconds.

He decided to wake himself up drastically.

With one move he threw his blanket away and jumped out of his bed almost falling to side.

Sam was still asleep so he had the bathroom fully to himself so he started with taking a cold shower.

It would be worth the free weekend and the cake Nat had promised to bake him.

He was so in thought that he didn't hear the first knock on the bathroom door.

Suddenly Sam shouted.

„Quit singing, Rogers! I can even hear you in my room!“

He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

„Consider it a lullaby for my beloved friend.“ he laughed.

„As if“, Sam snorted and went back to bed.

After his first cup of coffee his morning moodiness was gone and the day didn't seem too shitty anymore.

He was early for work.

There were barely any workers and he wanted to have some time alone with the dogs before beginning the day.

He greeted every dog he passed individually knowing all of their names or made some up for the ones who didn't have one yet.

Barney wiggled his tail in excitement when Steve opened the door to his compound.

 

He sat next to the labrador and crawled him right behind his ears which the dog welcomened so he sat still to not disturb the trainer.

When Barney finally laid down Steve got his sketchbook out and started a new drawing naming it 'Barney-this lazy bastard'.

He chuckled when he finished writing the name in the top right corner.

When he drew he never had a feeling for time. He could have been going on forever but was awoken enough from his trance when he stopped drawing because the other eye didn't match the first.

A look on his watch told him it was almost 8a.m.

Quickly he packed away his drawing and opened the doors for the dogs to get out on the playground.

It would be a sunny day again but more humid. He could see clouds coming up in the distance.

Maybe there was a chance of rain in the evening.

On his way to the office he greeted several trainers and trainees which arrived for work.

He knocked on Coulson's office door before getting to his own entering when he made out a dull 'yes'

His boss was casually sitting on his desk looking through some papers.

„G'morning, sir. Me and Nat changed positions because she sadly can't make it a-“

„She didn't want to, am I right?“, Coulson confronted him.

Steve looked at his feet smiling to himself.

„Yes, you are right.“, he answered truthfully.

The older man returned the smile. „How much did she give you?“

„No money, just her free weekend next month...and a cake!“

Now that made Coulson laugh but he wasn't surprised at all. Natasha had worked for him for a long time so he knew her pretty well by now.

And as long as the work at the shelter and centre was done he didn't care how his employees traded vacation times.

He went back behind his desk, opened a drawer and took out more papers.

„So, our new man on the team will be James Buchanan Barnes. Out of jail since a few days but supposed to be quite well behaved which is why they let him out earlier. Can be a bit stubborn but I think you can handle him.“, he explained.

„I hope so, sir.“, Steve responded unsure of what to answer.

„Just show him around and all. Teach him the basic duties he has to do. That would be all actually. If you don't know what to do with him or what to tell him if he asks stupid questions, call me or Skye.“

„Yes, will do. Thank you, sir. See you later.“  
Quickly he left Coulson's office and headed to the administration. 

Even though he was late there was no sign of Skye yet who was supposed to bring the man in. 

He wondered if they checked this guy on weapons and knifes he could have with him.

Then he heard Skye's voice coming towards him and in that moment saw her running around the corner with a tall figure behind her.

She smiled and chatted on happily ignoring the obviously moody man who wore his mouth pressed together as a thin line showing no sign of emotion. 

He had his hair knotted back in a bun and greyish- blue eyes which seemed empty but occasionally had a glimpse of a lively spirit in them.

It scared and fascinated Steve at the same time.

He only noticed he had glued his stare onto the other man as Skye greeted him with a way too loud and high „Hi, Steve! How are you?“

Steve looked down on her, smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.

„Skye, please. It's way too early to be in such a good mood. I am fine, thanks.“

She playfully hit his arm with her fist. 

„Don't be so broody! So, this is Steve Rogers“, she gestured between both men, „He will show you around. Steve, this is James Barnes.“ 

Skye stepped aside so they were able to shake hands.

Now that he was right in front of him Steve noticed that the man was smaller than him but not less well build.

Martial Arts fighter?, he thought to himself.

Some loose strands of hair cupped the the man's face.

„You can call me Steve, nice to meet you.“

„James, nice to meet you as well.“ 

He had manners. That was good.

Skye clapped her hands.

„Okay, I will leave you then! See you later!“, she chanted while walking back the direction she had came from.

An awkward silence fell as Steve didn't kow what to say. 

He decided to jump right in.   
„Well, okay. If you'd follow me, I will give you the tour.“

They began with the office rooms and Steve introduced James to Phil Coulson.

Then they got outside. 

„So this is the dogs' house where they all have their box to sleep and get food in. Every building here has a toilet so you don't need to always run back to the office. Water is there“, he pointed to different buckets which stood next to green hoses, „and dog food is here.“

He opened the door behind him and led James inside. 

Endless shelfs were fully stocked with several kinds of dog food. 

„Which dog gets which food and when is written on the plate at the dog's boxes and in this little notebook here. The names are alphabetically ordered.“

James didn't answer the whole time but nodded when Steve gave him a look to see if he had understood everything.

He was silent but he reacted so there was nothing more Steve wished for. 

Most people who had to come here were disinterested, didn't listen but didn't ask any questions either so they often made mistakes which could have been prevented easily.

Steve was glad about this one because he seemed rather intelligent and he could see that James was indeed listening and processing what he was being told.

The trainer led his company over the yard.

„Here is the training ground where we hold lessons and stuff. You know manners and agility and tricks.“

A woman who was training a Jack Russel terrier waved to which Steve responded. 

„If you go this way you come to a crossroad. There you have different routes for taking the dogs out for a walk and this is our dogs's playground.“

He gestured to the field which lay behind the gate. 

„We start 8 a.m. and finish around 9 p.m. You probably already know which shift you work so I think I don't need to explain more. Skye is your advisor but you can ask anyone you find around here. Any questions left?“

„No, thanks. Don't think so.“ James answered in a calm voice.

„Well, then. Care for a walk? I can show you some routes then already.“, Steve offered.

„Sure“

James followed him to the dogs' house and waited for Steve to decide which dog to take.

For himself he grabbed Barney and then got out a german shepherd mix for his new partner.

„That's Calvin. He's quite strong and a lively dog but I'm sure you can hold him, okay?“

„Yeah“

They followed a route through the fields walking side by side.

Though desperate to know more about James, Steve didn't want to be rude. 

The obvious was to ask what he had done to get into jail but he didn't know how far he could go.

He didn't even know if there was anything where James would snap and have a breakdown or worse, have a killing spree.

Would he even want to know if James had murdered someone? 

He didn't seem like the murderer type.

But then again what would a murderer type look like?

So far they've had everything from drug addicts to rapists.

Would they even let out a murderer sooner?

„No, they wouldn't“ 

Steve jumped when James answered him.

„Sorry, what?“ , he asked confused.

„As far as I know they wouldn't let out a murderer sooner or at least not have him do community service without security around.“, came the explanation, „You think out loud.“

Startled, Steve realised.

„Oh, god! I am so sorry what did I say?“

„It began with 'he doesn't seem like the murderer type' and frankly you are right. I didn't kill anybody.“

Steve let out a groan and buried his face in his hands.

He knew, that sometimes happened when he was lost in thought.

„Sorry...“, he weakly tried to excuse his comments.

„It's okay. I can't deny you the curiosity.“

They continued their walk in silence now.

One was too embarrassed to say anything anymore, the other just didn't have to tell anything.  
Though it was a casual walk, Steve tried to keep up a good distance between them. He didn't want to accidentally bump into James Barnes or to come too close as he didn't know what the former prisoner considered enough personal space.

They reached a little clearing which was covered in deep green grass with dots of colourfull little flowers here and there. 

The light which shone upon the clearing was a little dull and greyish. The weather didn't seem to get better.

Steve snapped off Barney's leash and the labrador ran across the open space. 

Calvin wiggled his tail excitedly but James was unsure if he could let him loose.

He threw Steve a questioning look.

„Can I? Or-?“

„Oh! Yeah, sure! Just let him run a bit, he is prefectly fine.“, Steve answered and almost stumbled over his own words.

So, also Calvin got loose and ran after Barney playfully attacking his buddy and soon they were busy playing catch.

„So, don't you wanna know what I did to land in jail?“, came Jame's voice to Steve's ear.

The one spoken felt the heat creep into his cheeks. It was all so embarrassing.

A nervous laughter escaped him and he waved his hand.

„Nah, it's okay really! I don't want or need to know. It's your business! Sorry, again for making you uncomfortable“, Steve rambled on while crossing his arms around himself.

For the first time of the day he witnessed some emotion in James Barnes.

The corner of the brunette man's mouth twitched upwards and a sound came from his throat similar to a small chuckle.

„It rather seems that you are uncomfortable. No need to be so uptight, relax.“, James advised him.

Steve tried to, letting his arms fall to the sides and shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants.

He glanced over at James. „So, what did you do if I may ask?“ He was careful but frankly it really interested him.

„Nothing serious. Only some burglary, some drug dealing, maybe beaten a few people if necessary.“

„And burglary gets you into prison for 2 years?“, Steve spat out the sudden question. 

James looked over and Steve felt his cheeks turning red again hoping it not to be too visible. 

„Sor-“ „Breaking into a few of America's most famous banks and companies, yes. Glad they couldn't prove my drug dealing or else I still would stare at grey walls.“

Blinking Steve tried to process the information. It surprised him. He was clueless why but guessed it was two things.

First, the man in front of him didn't seem that dangerous that he would or could rob banks or deal with drugs. Second, he told these facts without a second thought or so it seemed. He gave off the feeling to be comfortable talking about it as if it wasn't a big deal.

 

A muffled „Ah, okay“ was all Steve could respond.

They stood in silence again watching the dogs playing together. 

Steve picked up a little branch and threw it for them.

Just then a little drop of water hit his face and he turned it towards the sky which was a grey mess made out of threatening looking clouds.

He instructed James to put on the leash again and they called their dogs.

Half way back the rain began.

Heavily it poured down on them and the cold rain soaked them wet within minutes.

The plaid button up shirt James had worn around his waist the whole time was on his head now but it didn't help that much. 

In general he was better prepared for such a weather with his dark long jeans and combat boots which protected his feet from the puddles while Steve's sneakers hadn't been the best choice of clothing for running through wet fields.

When they reached the gate the dogs were already pulling on their leashes to get inside.

Over the sound of the heavy rain Steve told James to get inside while he closed the gate again. 

He handed Barney over so his new team mate could get the dogs both inside.

He saw nobody on the area as he checked everything up before getting inside himself.

It wouldn't matter if he would stay a few moments longer outside as he was totally soaked now anyway, Steve thought.

Entering the dogs house, where James was already waiting, Steve got out of his shoes and socks his clothes dripping wet.

„Thanks“, he said taking Barney and leading James to the dog's stalls where they rubbed them dry with towels and filled their bowls.

„Haven't had such a rain in a long while. Sorry, not the best weather to start your first day.“

James shrugged. „A little rain won't kill me.“  
The common room in the dogs' house was small and had minimalist furniture but it was okay to just sit and get dry. 

Steve handed James another towel.

The other man had opened his bun so his hair hung down in loose wet strands almost touching his shoulders now.

Turning up the heater Steve sat down onto one of the leather chairs his clothes clinging to his body.

„Do you mind if I put my shirt over the heater for a few seconds?“ James asked.

„No, of course not. Just go ahead.“, Steve answered paying attention to his cold feet by rubbing them in his towel.

With one swift motion James pulled his tank top over his head and layed it and his button up onto the heater. 

Then he bend over, grabbed his hair and put it in a bun again. He made his way over to the couch and let himself fall into the soft cushions. 

Out of the corner of his eye Steve noticed a flesh coloured spot and quickly looked up to meet a naked chest in front of him.

For a few seconds he couldn't tear his gaze away until he shook his head realizing James hadn't only meant the shirt tied around his waist.

The view he now had only proved what he had already been thinking. James was well build. A few little scars where to be seen here and there on his body but nothing too obvious.

Get a grip, Rogers, he scolded himself again.

„So, what are we doing now? Wait 'til the rain is over?“, James asked waiting for Steve to give instructions.

„Well, I don't know actually. I was just supposed to show you around. They didn't tell me anything else... I suppose I am done as I showed you everything.“ He wasn't sure what to do now. It was a little past noon, usually it was training or walking time for the dogs but the rain still was too heavy to take a step outside. They would have to wait a little longer.

„Uh huh“, James nodded and leaned against the cushions letting his head wander around the room.

„Could use a little touch-up. The walls are depressingly grey“, he suggested. His finger pointed towards the concrete walls.

Steve chuckled. „You are right. Just another small thing which has to be done but nobody has or makes time for.“

„I can make time for it. I'm probably not of much use the first few days other than filling buckets and feeding anyway“, James answered casually already letting his gaze wander and deciding which paint to put on the walls.

„I mean, I am not good with artsy things either but anything like crafting or constructing I consider myself pretty good at...the usual, you know?“, he added. 

Despite having no right to promise or say anything in regards to work Steve thought it was a pretty good idea. 

„Yeah, sure. I will see what Coulson says,“ he came to an agreement with his inner conscience on what answer he could give.

 

The little smile that appeared on the other ones face made the concession worth it for Steve.

When a ray of sunshine struck through the room Steve looked outside. The rain had stopped and it seemed the dark coat of clouds began to break down.

James stood up getting his shirt and putting it back on while Steve hung the towels over the backrest of a little chair standing near the cupboard.

The sun was warm on their skin as both took a few steps outside. Other people were already getting their dogs out for training heading to the field or agility parcours. 

„There you are!“, they heard Skye yelling. She ran up to them still seemingly super happy and excited about whatever. Behind her Natasha calmy followed . Obviously annoyed but not enough to let out a snarky comment. It was Skye after all. She was too innocent.

„Have been looking for you in all rooms! Where've you been?“, Skye asked.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck and his shoulders lifted as a little laughter shook him.

„Out and about and when the rain came we sought shelter in the dogs' house. Nat, what are you doing here?“

„I got home earlier from my appointment and just in the moment I shut the door, my phone rang and guess what: Coulson had work for me cause someome seems interested in Maggie, so yeah. Here I am. And who is this new oversized pup you taking care of, Rogers?“

She did that on purpose. He knew it and he wondered why she hated him so much. Why were they even friends when she liked to show him up especially now when this whole day though he had dropped one brick after another.  
Steve was a so close to just punch her but kept it bottled up trying to not let the redness creep into his face again. 

„James Barnes, nice to meet you. Sadly I am no puppy so I suppose you won't take me out for a walk, ma'am?“ , James answered before Steve got out a word. 

He lost all facial expression when he heard James saying that sentence which was, obviously, supposed to be a pick-up line. 

Natasha only laughed and both reached out shaking hands.

„I like that dude. Calls me ma'am! No need to be so formal, I am Natasha and no probably not, sorry.“   
„Well, I'm here to pick you up. We still have to fill in some forms and I will apportion you to a project dog for your time here.“ Skye interrupted. 

She walked on and James turned to follow. 

„Thanks for showing me around“, he said to Steve looking over his shoulder, „see you around, Steve.“

„Yeah, sure. See ya.“ 

Steve felt a sudden relief when both became tinier and tinier in the distance with each step they took.   
He let out a heavy breath, the tension in his muscle about to ease.

Next to him Natasha chuckled. 

„Why so taut, Rogers? You afraid of our new co-worker or is it cause he's an ex-prisoner?“ She was trembling as if she held back an even bigger laugh.

„Haha, very funny. No, everything is fine.“

„Sure doesn't seem like it.“

„Shut up, what do you kow?“ 

„Your sweet buttcheeks. And they're clenching.“ 

He threw a buiscuit at her he found in the pocket of his pants. 

Nat burst into an uncontrolled laughter, cackling like a lunatic when Steve turned away from her walking towards the main building.

„I-I am sorry, Steve. Steve, wait!“ she brought out grabbing his shoulder.

He didn't stop going foward so she was dragged with him. Once every few steps she patted his back trying to calm him down. It was hilarious to her but she also knew something was bothering him and she seemed to be the cause so it had to be taken care of by her. 

„Why are you so upset? It was just a little joke, this guy didn't even take it serious. He was super chill.“ 

„I just-“, he started and turned around, „had a bad day, sorry. I don't know.“ 

She eyed him suspiciously. „You sure?“

„Yeah, will head home now. I am done for today.“

He turned on his heel leaving her standing alone and ignoring the fact that he didn't even say goodbye properly and felt like a rude kid about it.

Steve was thankful she just let him be and didn't follow or shout anything after him.

As fast as he could he packed his stuff and hopped into the next bus to ride home.

When he shut his door behind him Sam stuck his head out of his room with a bowl of cereal in his hands.

„You are home early today.“

„Need some private time. Probably won't come out of my room before tomorrow morning“, he explained and closed the door hurriedly to let himself sink down on the floor grabbing his laptop and turning on some music to get his mind off.

He began drawing and continued for roughly three hours starting sketches of flowers, people, animals or anything to concentrate on something better than giving in to his busy mind.

It was 7:48 when he threw a look on the time and though way too early he decided it was time for bed.  
A little extra sleep wouldn't kill him.

He shoved the blanket aside and got comfortable in the sheets. 

But still when he got drugged with fatigue, all that came to his mind were little details which were branded onto his brain belonging to the new co-worker.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS CHAPTER HAD NO BETA READER! - you can keep all mistakes to yourself.
> 
> I'm just uploading this kind of "raw" cause it's been so long since I posted chapter 1. Somehow I lost my motivation for this chapter and just wanted to get it done in the end so I couldn't get myself to write with passion and maybe you can even feel that?! I hope not but anyway, enjoy! 
> 
> I already planned out the third chapter so it should get better than this.

A thundering banging reached Steve's sleepy mind. 

It grew louder and louder until he realised he was awake and it came from his bedroom door.

With a heavy grown he turned over, grabbed his pillow and covered his face.

„Steve! Wake up! Don't you have some work you have to go to?“, he catched the sound of Sam's voice. 

Slowly clear thoughts build up in his mind.

Quickly he threw away the pillow to jump out of the bed like a panicked rabbit searching for his phone only to find it under a pile of clothes. 

8:54 a.m.

How could he possibly have slept roughly 12 hours, he thought to himself.

He rushed towards the door pulling it open and stood face to face with Sam.

„Thanks, man. I owe you one!“, Steve said leaving him standing to get to the bathroom.

„You owe me a lot already if we look at it that way but I never get anything in return“, Sam sighed and crossed his arms. 

He went back to the kitchen to eat up his cereal which was now all soaked in milk. 

Steve didn't know when it had been the last time he had managed to shower in under five minutes and he was thankful that he didn't slip or let anything fall while he blocked the bathroom. 

Normally he needed his breakfast but in his hurry he entirely forgot, so when he got his bus on the last second and took seat his stomach began to rumble. 

He tried to just ignore it.

Nevertheless the hunger creeped in. Sadly he didn't even grab something to bring with him to the centre which was a shame because certainly there wouldn't be waiting a buffet for him.

Steve had always been a good eater, before his grandmother had passed she had always loved having him around.   
Not only because he had always been a polite and relatively calm child but also for the reason that he ate everything she offered him.  
She had fattened him as much as she could.

Actually while puberty he had needed it as he had been quite the skinny boy growing up. Nothing too serious but for some time Natasha had had the habit of showing „before and after“ pictures of him to people he dated. 

Now he was immensely taller and had gained a lot more muscle. He almost took in two seats on the bus but managed to shrink a little or at least that was what he tried to do.  
He pressed his hands flat onto his stomach when another uproar escaped from it.

Well, at least he had a rather long lunch break so he could definetely grab a snack somewhere. In like...three hours.

When Steve left the bus all he could think about was a sandwich with a nice cup of coffee.

Instead he got a new schedule for the obedience training groups he had to teach. 

„Why am I getting all the kids' and youths' ones?“, he groaned. 

„'Cause you are great with kids...and I can't stand humans younger than 15“, Natasha answered nonchalantly and sorted her files. 

Her office room was minimalistically put together. It was quite pretty, Steve thought but he himself could never work or live like this. He was all about messing around, throwing papers here and there and creating an organized chaos.

Speaking of which, Coulson had instructed him to tidy up his office two weeks ago and he still didn't came around with it.   
That was probably why he got the unnerving tasks while Natasha got granted every wish.

It was not that he hated kids. To be precise his friend was right, he came along with them wonderfully but to tell the truth, they were exhausting. 

They were basically human puppies which needed help to train their furry puppies. A double load of puppies running around uncoordinated and Steve was supposed to bring some order into it. 

On a normal day he would have had the patience for this. 

Today he hadn't eaten breakfast and that made the whole situation entirely different.

When Natasha had heard the loud rumbling coming from Steve's inside she had offered him a cereal bar. 

Needless to say it hadn't fully satisfied him. 

„Okay, but at least take me out on lunch later“, Steve pointed out already at the door to leave.

„Everything you want, Rogers“, she answered with a smirk and winked at him.

 

Rufus didn't make Steve's day better.

The little terrier still looked up to him and Steve could almost see him furrowing his non-existent brows in confusion. 

„Why is that so hard for you“, he asked the dog and let out a huff. 

Rufus excitedly wiggled his tail and sprung around awaiting Steve to play with him.

For over an hour he had to endure his trainer calling him „Sit“. Of course he didn't know what to make of it but he didn't mind as long as he got some pats once in a while.

Again, for the what it seemed 100th time today, Steve threw the dog's favourite yellow ball bringing the tiny legs to fly across the field. 

He would have to end the session here as soon a group of teenagers would come over to train with him. 

When Rufus brought back the ball, Steve grabbed him, carried the terrier back to the playground and let him down to play with the other dogs.

He grew more and more impatient as the hunger ate him up.

A little grumpy he made his way over to the dog house to get Barney who, he hoped, would lighten his mood or at least not annoy with useless noisy talk and would actually listen to his commands not like Rufus. 

The labrador awaited him eagerly and was more than happy to get out of his cell rushing forward after Steve had put the leash on so the trainer could then only follow his four-legged friend or try to hold him back.

When Steve called him out to calm down Barney immediately stopped though and turned his head towards him.   
He looked at Steve as if he was accounted guilty for the worst crime that could ever happen so Steve tried to apologize by petting his head.

„Right, not your fault I'm having a bad day, Buddy.“, Steve said. 

Teenagers from 13 to 17 were already waiting with their dogs at the training ground. 

Steve slowly made his way over to them only to be stopped by Natasha coming up to him.

„Have fun“, she poked, „lunch in an hour?“

„Yeah, see ya...“ he answered and she went on carrying all sorts of toys and dog gear on her arms. It was amazing how strong this woman was that she didn't even struggle with the weight.  
Steve knew she could probably break his arm if she would just squeeze it enough.

The first thing he did was telling his students to let their dogs loose.

It was a beginner's class so everyone was new to each other. Some exchanged worried looks as if unsure what to think about the given instruction.

„Area's big, let your dogs warm up with each other for starters. Don't know their classmates yet, do they?“ Steve further explained.

A girl shyly raised her hand. „But...what if they attack each other? And get hurt?“

Steve gave her a big warm smile and she couldn't help but blush by seeing it. 

„First of all: you don't need to raise hands here, we are not at school, second: trust me, they'll be okay. Dogs need play, they are animals after all, so of course it could get a little rough sometimes but it's natural for them.“, he told the class. 

With a little bit of hesitation all came to snapping off the leashes.   
Steve used the time the dogs had to play to discuss basic stuff like rules and what commands every dog should know.  
For many attendees it was their first dog he found out. 

He introduced them all to Barney and they were completely in awe when he rubbed his head on Steves leg and barked when Steve mentioned him as his „best buddy in the whole world“.

Letting the dogs play had also been Steve's tactic to see how good they were listening to their owners already.  
Only two or three (one who met his owner halfway) actually came when they were called. The rest the teenagers had to retrieve. 

Steve made all stand next to each other in a line to better keep track of them. 

Then he commanded Barney to sit to give them an example of what it should look like having their dog listening to their words.

„Dogs want to learn. And they certainly want to have an alpha leading them but you also have to be their partner and friend“, Steve lectured.

„We will start simple. First of all your dogs have to come when you call them. We'll try that, just let them run around on their leashes, call them whenever you want and give 'em a treat if they listen, 'kay?“

He spend the next ten minutes overviewing the situation and individually helping the ones who needed it.   
When he was impressed or satisfied with the progress he complimented owner and dog. 

He had never been a harsh trainer, wasn't even perfect himself and he was proud and glad his bad mood didn't seem to show off.

Just as he had helped a girl teaching her dog to sit properly he heard some older ones chitchat.

„Strange guy...“ „Is he a trainer?“ „Looks more like some buff security person, if you ask me.“ 

With a look in the direction their eyes were heading he saw James. Honestly he didn't even had to look to know who they were talking about.   
It irritated him a little nevertheless. 

„Nothing to do?“, he busted their conversation, „I know there are only 15 minutes left but would you mind paying attention to your dogs rather than random people?“

Caught off guard they had to let his speech sink in for a few seconds before swallowing hard and splitting up to turn their attention towards their dogs again.

He never liked people talking behind other's backs. It shouldn't have concerned him but he especially today he couldn't bring himself to tolerate anything which drove him nuts though it was completely harmless.

His gaze went back to James who was filling water buckets and Skye standing next to him having her eyes glued on a paper.   
A schedule probably or some kind of plan for James, Steve thought. 

Then James lifted his head and their eyes met. Briefly Steve felt kind of nervous and pressured as if not knowing what to do but then James gave him a quick greeting by waving his hand.  
Steve responded instinctively and smiled before turning around to his attendees.

He felt like puking when his stomach rumbled again. He seriously needed some food soon.

Luckily the session was almost over and he got down to tell everyone what they had to work on until they returned for next class. 

Natasha was on the dot and had to wait as Steve had to bring Barney to the playground. 

They were on their way to the common room to get their jackets when Nat was called back by Coulson. So, Steve went ahead.

„Fuck“, Steve muttered searching through the pockets of his coat, „think I forgot my wallet.“

He let out a frustrated groan.   
„Can this day get ANY worse?“ 

Fumbling through his coat over and over again in hope to find at least a few coins he grew more and more impatient. He hadn't had something to eat for roughly a whole day and Steve could feel himself getting dizzier...and angrier for that matter.   
By now he even thought about if he could get away with stealing a chocolate bar.

„Hey, pal, everythin' alright?“, James approached him.

Trying to collect himself, Steve stood up straight and tried to bring a polite smile to his lips though he felt like snapping and destroying something with his bare hands.

„Yeah, sure. Everything's fine...just having a little crisis here.“ he put it nicely.

„If I can help out just tell me, 'kay? You need money? Overheard Natasha planning to have lunch with you.“ 

„No! It's alright, really!“

„Come on,“ James instisted, brought out a his wallet and handed Steve a ten dollar bill, „you gotta eat.“ 

Cautiously Steve took it feeling more than rude. He didn't like borrowing money from someone. Precisely he didn't like borrowing something from anyone. He hadn't exactly grown up in a wealthy family but or better and because of this he was too proud to rely on such help as his mother has been the same way and had alway taught him to work hard for anything he wanted. 

Now he was too dumbfounded by James' action that he didn't know better but nod and stammering out a hardly audible „Thank you“.   
His action was especially weird to Steve because they didn't even know each other that much, only met yesterday.   
Then he remembered his manners, put away the bills and spoke up louder: „Thank you...Do you want to come with us? Can't just rob you off that money.“

James shook his head.

„Thanks, but no. Already promised Skye to eat with her. Don't worry, you can pay me back on another occasion.“, he said.

He gave Steve a pat on the shoulder. 

„Have to go now. Enjoy your meal!“ he almost commanded pointing at Steve and giving him a jokingly intense look before he broke character, had to smile and turned to leave.

Steve chuckled and assured he would.   
All while keeping his eyes glued to the other man eyeing him from head to toe.

Left alone again Steve took a seat on the couch. He enjoyed the silence for a moment before Natasha came back to get him.

They took her car and drove two km into the town to eat at her favourite pizza restaurant. They ate there rarely during work but Nat had suggested it and she wanted to have a quiet place to talk with Steve.

„I have a plan and I need your support“, she began. 

He bit off a large piece of pizza almost sighing in pleasure over the food. He didn't even chew properly, just swallowed it down but Natasha waited for him to nod before continuing.

„I thought about throwing a surprise birthday party...for Sam.“

Steve almost choked on his pizza.

„What?“, he asked startled.

„It's in two weeks...nothing too big but-“ 

„Nat“, he countered, „not that this isn't a good idea but the fact that it's coming from you? You hate parties. With all their cakes, gleeful happiness and confetti, what's gotten into you?“

„Shut up, I don't...hate it. It's just annoying sometimes. I just wanted to be nice.“

„Since when do you want to be nice?“   
He kew if they were alone she would have thrown her knife at him.

It was just unusual for Natasha Romanoff, Steve knew her too well. And he also guessed that this sudden interest for „being nice“ only came from the fact that his two friends indeed did have a relationship that went past platonic.

That didn't matter to Steve at all but everything he wanted was for Natasha (or Sam he didn't really care who it would be) to be honest and just tell him.   
They owed him at least that. Also then they would be officially a couple. Now it was just some playing and tip toeing around the fact that they liked it each other more than they wanted to admit. 

He also knew that it was mainly Natasha who didn't want to admit it. As long as he had known Sam his friend had always been a sickly romantic guy when it came to such situations with a girl and he had never been ashamed of it.  
He probably wasn't even now but Steve could imagine how Natasha had begged to keep their relationship small and not to overthink it too fast. 

She liked having her freedom and hadn't been in a long-term relationship for some years now and Steve was almost sure that she was scared.  
Also he had always assured her that she wouldn't have to give up any freedom and that Sam wouldn't restrict her at all.

After all though they still were at the point where she would tell him she just wanted to be nice.

„Okay, I will help you..“, Steve began. 

Nats face lit up in excitement. „Really? Thank you, Stevie! You know you have to make the cake, right? You are a master with baking and all that stuff.“

„I will. But! I want you to tell Sam that you will try it with him when the party is happening. You know, trying all this girlfriend-boyfriend stuff.“

Immediately the fire in her eyes was extinguished. 

„I don't really think you have a saying in that“, she answered. 

„I think I do 'cause you both are my friends and you make each other happy. Also please just commit, I can't stand him blasting crappy love songs through our apartment any longer.“, Steve said.

He had finished his pizza by now and felt a lot better. 

Natasha thought about it for a moment and he waited for her to answer.

„He does?“, she finally came up with raising an eyebrow.

„Oh, for god's sake, Nat.“

„Yes! Okay, yeah...I will try it... but you make the cake and it better be good.“ 

He nodded happily telling her how she wouldn't regret it while signaling the waiter to come. 

On their drive back she told Steve all about how she had planned the party. It should be in Steve and Sam's apartment as they were all kind of broke. She explained how she pictured the cake and Steve tried to remember as much as possible as he wasn't able to write it down in that moment. It sounded disgustingly sweet. 

Then they discussed whom to invite.  
It shouldn't be that big of a party but still big enough to have some fun and not only sitting around. Natasha needed new contestants for her drinking game which she always won. Not because she cheated but rather because she could drink anyone under the table.  
It was fascinating how much alcohol her little body could store without suffering effects.

In the end they narrowed it down to themselves and 6 other people Sam knew from work or the gym or people they were all friends with.

„We can discuss the rest on the weekend“, Natasha finished and exited her car. 

They parted in front of Steve's office. There was some paperwork he still had to finish before he could take some dogs for a walk afterwards. 

Working his way through files and several phone numbers he also checked his university's web page from time to time refreshing over and over again.

Nobody knew anything about when the results would be announced yet. It had barely been a week since he wrote his last exam anyway so there was no chance his results were out yet but he knew he would calm down if he at least knew when he could see if he had failed or not. 

Steve was so absorbed into his work that the suddenly ringing phone gave him a start. 

„Rogers?“

„We have an emergency case near the highway. You go with Skye, she's waiting in the lobby and will tell you the details“, Coulson ordered on the other end. 

„Understood.“ Steve affirmed, hung up and put on his coat. 

They rarely had an emergency but if Coulson said so then it was one, there was no doubt so he didn't plan on letting Skye wait for longer than she had to. 

When he entered the lobby she wasn't alone though.

„What is it?“, Steve asked looking more at James than her and then forced himself to just ignore him by practically staring at Skye persistently. 

She handed him the duffle bag filled with all emergency necessities like first aid, dog snacks, water and leashes. 

„Some stray dog at the high way. Witness said there is even more than one dog but we'll have to see for ourselves. Is likely injured and we don't know if it is used to humans“ Skye explained all while grabbing the car keys from the reception and puttin everyone into the van. 

In these situations Skye became the professional animal rights activist she really was, not that bubbly cheerful lady many others looked down on.

Sometimes she annoyed him if he was honest. He also respected her though so he was very much comfortable by her taking lead on this case. 

He had been on a few rescuing missions but always with someone giving him orders on what to do. Steve considered himself a strong, and in addition to that also a very good, leader in some cases but he also liked to give over the reins to somebody else from time to time so he had less to worry about.

Checking the medical kit he listened to Skye rambling on about how she hoped this dog was as alright and healthy as it could be or else she would punch a hole into a wall. She always became particularly aggressive when it was about saving animals and she didn't kid around.  
Steve had seen her punching people who had been cruel to their pets.

James remained silent in the back seat.  
Steve watched him in the wing mirror, of course only to check on him, he told himself. 

He didn't know what made this man so... ,was it „fascinating“?, for him. Maybe he liked him. No, he was sure he did feel comfortable around him. The feeling you have when you desperately want to be friends with someone. 

Odd enough as it was to get along with an ex-prisoner, Steve thought to himself, it was even odder wanting to be friends with someone he barely knew.   
Did they even have similar interests or hobbies?   
Did James even like him? 

„What did you say? Sorry, I should've let you be part of my rant.“ Skye reached out and turned down the volume of the radio shutting her mouth and waiting for Steve to repeat.

Shit, he had done it again. 

Cautiously he took a look at James in the mirror again but he didn't seem to have noticed continuing staring out the window.

„Uh, nothing. Just go on.“, he gestured for her to talk again.

He tried to keep his thoughts together or else he feared shouting them out again. 

They were already following the highway up north as they had been instructed. Somewhere had to be a rest area where the dog was supposed to tarry.

When a sign came Skye ordered Steve to ready himself. James was told to help if necessary. Other than that he was just supposed to watch and learn.

The rest area was empty apart from them. Skye parked the car and they stayed inside looking around from within to not scare the dog away if it was still there. 

It hadn't taken a long time when it showed up. A skinny figure, not that tall with bones showing through the short black fur.   
On closer inspection there was a red wound to be seen just across the hip bones spreading out a little wider to the sides whose seriousness couldn't be perceived from the distance. 

„Should we get out?“, Steve asked expectantly. 

„Not yet. Let's see what it does.“, Skye replied, eyes on the dog. 

The dog just reconnoitered the area, especially the trash cans but considering that the highway was pretty empty, so rarely any people came up to this rest area, the cans were empty. 

Then it lied down right next to one wiggling his ears and licking its paws. 

„Okay, maybe now“, Skye said and Steve handed her some treats and a leash promising to stay close by.   
They remained calm but didn't bother to try being exceptionally silent. Dogs' ears could hear anything and shoes scraping over concrete weren't exactly noiseless. 

Fortunately the dog didn't freak out so Skye came close quickly and held out a treat as an invite to come towards her. 

Steve and James watched in silence waiting for her to give any kind of instruction if she needed the men.

Sneakily Skye snapped on the leash and made the dog jump trying to get away from her but held back by the rope she now took hold off.

With more treats they lured their new friend to the van. Steve picked the dog up and seated it in the cage inside the trunk. 

„Done. Glad it worked out so well. Okay, let's get to the centre. This little dude immediately needs a thorough vet check.“, Skye announced and jumped back onto the driver's seat. 

Steve took place next to James in the back seat to have a better eye on the dog.

„It's a she-dog if I recognize correctly“, Steve mentioned incidentally not looking away. He racked his brain about the wound. It was fairly large but didn't seem too deep and on the one hand reminded him of a burn wound. On the other hand he was sure it wasn't such an injury but couldn't find a reasonable way this dog could have hurt herself like this.

 

„I get to call her!“, Skye laid claim. „Peanut!“

Acting in sync both turned their heads towards her and exclaimed: „Seriously?“ 

A moment of silence followed in which Steve and James looked at each other. 

James was way more assertive, his eyes piercing Steve's who countered the look but tearing his gaze away the second he realized he had stared directly into James' eyes  
He felt disconcerted.   
He felt as if he broke a boundary and should be scolded for it.

„Why not? It's simple but cute!“, he could hear Skye talk through thick sound damper which was clogging his ears. 

He shook his head, eyes shut close violently. 

Skye started the engine and took off while it became silent on the backseat again. The dog observed her surroundings and tried to break free from the cage biting the bars but stopping once she recognized there was no getting out. She didn't dare to lie down anyway though which ended up in her trying to find her balance while the car got shaken by Skye's rather rough driving.

„A little bit more careful if you'd be so kind. Peanut is about to fall from one side to another in the cage“, James told her keeping an eye on the dog. Occasionally he reached out with his hand only to take it back as the dog ducked his head.

Upon their arrival some other team members were already waiting including vet Darcy Lewis.  
„Hey, peeps! How's it going?“

„Well, considering we had to rescue another dog: bad. Considering we got to rescue her: good.“, Steve answered not really in the mood for chitty chat.

She rolled her eyes and helped him getting the cage out. 

„Okay, Rogers. I see you have no intention of being funny whatsoever, the usual.“, she gave back making Skye giggle behind them.   
It was not about being funny, Steve thought. He wouldn't argue with her, everyone knew that most of the time he put a smile on everyone's face and was way friendlier than it was good for him. Just sometimes he didn't want to put up with overly cheery girl's talk.   
That was why he liked Natasha so much as she never did that except maybe intentionally to annoy him. 

„So, what do we have?“, Darcy asked as they put the dog on the vet table. 

„Female, seemingly mix breed, pretty lare wound on the left hip though not deep.“

„Okay, I will see. Hey, buddy...!“

Darcy went into full vet mode. Steve gave Skye an expectant look to ask if he should or could leave. She just nodded so he figured his work was done.

„And take James with you, please, yeah?“, she added.

He signalled James, who was waiting at the entrance door, to follow him outside. 

They did a last check on the truck looking if the emergency kit was fully equipped or if anything was forgotten inside.

Steve to a look on his watch.

17:23

His shift was almost over. He let out a sigh a warm pleasure spreading inside him as he just wanted to be done.

It must've been some good several minutes he had spent in his head because as he raised it he noticed James waiting for him with crossed arms.

„You okay, man?“

„Uh, yeah, think so. Sorry...got a little carried away.“, Steve explained.

„Can I ask you something?“ It was nothing, James only looked at him because of them having a conversation but Steve couldn't help himself feeling watched and embarrassed. He didn't even know what to be embarrassed about, it was strange.

„Sure.“ 

„Coulson told Skye that people witnessed more dogs but there weren't any. Shouldn't anyone go and check again just in case there are others?“, James asked obviously concerned.

Steve thought about it for a second. Indeed, James was right. They hadn't paid attention to other dogs strolling around there but also, as long as there was no other obviously living creature they didn't have to wait for hours so maybe they could catch something.

„You are right...but we can still check tomorrow. Now this little thing needs our help or better Darcy's. It's okay. But thanks for reminding me.“, Steve answered giving him a shy smile. 

James kept looking at him but accepting the fact nothing was about to happen anymore today.

They walked back to the office rooms.

Steve tried to keep a good amount of space between them though he didn't know exactly why. He wasn't uncomfortable but at the same time the closer he got to James, the more uneasy he felt.   
He was more than happy when Coulson joined them on his way out, suggesting they could leave if they wanted to as the shifts were almost over anyway and the volunteers who worked at the centre would take on the feeding. 

Turning off the light in his room he got ready to head home but not without a last stop at Barney's kennel and giving the labrador his goodnight cuddles.

Meanwhile James had joined the volunteers feeding the dogs. From some distance Steve watched him approaching the pets and somehow he was a little amused by it. James seemed utterly helpless in the outside kennel inhabitat by 5 Jack Russel Terriers who jumped to try snatching the bowls out of his hands. One easily reached his chest by jump so that he had to hold the food far over his head before being able to place each at the back of the kennel.

After watching the scene Steve hurried to get away. On the one hand because he had to catch his bus, on the other because he felt slightly awkward for having observed like a creeper. 

He went straight up to the bus stop without saying goodbye to anyone. He hoped that he would maybe meet Natasha but also he didn't bother looking for her this evening. He wanted to get on his couch watching shitty TV until he was so tired he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. 

 

As he came home, Sam had already returned from his gym routine brewing himself a coffee. 

„How was work?“, he asked searching the inside of the fridge with his eyes. Steve threw his backback aimlessly into his bedroom. He joined Sam in the kitchen jumping and taking a seat on the counter before rubbing his eyes and answering.

„Same old, same old. What did you do the whole day?“

„After your late rush out I just did some paper work and stuff...oh, and we got a letter from Mr. Davis providing us with the new 'garbage rules'.” 

He handed Steve a paper written by their actually nice but pretty fussy landlord. 

“Why exactly do tea bags NOT belong in the eco-trash?”, Steve pressed him.

Sam grinned, threw his hands up and gave Steve a shocked look as if to say 'how could you ask this?'

“Steven! Have you never thought about the bags the tea is in?!” 

“But they are compostable!...Aren't they?” 

“Hell, do I knowt this shit? But this man will probably kill any resident he's catching throwing their tea bags in the wrong trash, so better follow his rules.”

Crumpling the letter and throwing it away Steve knew they should, this man was crazy sometimes. 

Sam already enjoyed his coffee and was now about to get to work regarding his dinner.

“Oh, and of course I got a nice gym session. Clint was there, too. Told me to say 'hi'.”, he told slicing some tomatoes, “Have you met Natasha lately?”, Sam added seemingly casual after a small pause.

“I work with her, so I suppose, duh”, Steve answered flicking Sam's shoulder who responded with a glare.

“If you want to eat some of my food, you better not be this smug.”

He was right, he wanted food. Sam knew Steve well enough what it meant when he just waited in the kitchen while Sam was cooking instead of just going to his room or having a shower. 

Steve was willing to have another Natasha-talk for good food, he really was or else he would have run in an instant when Sam had asked the question.

“Didn't see her a lot though. Why?”

“She didn't answer my text from two days ago...Did she say anything about me? Did I do anything wrong?”

Steve couldn't exactly tell him that he was more than wrong with this assumption as he seemed to be so special to her that Natasha willingly wanted to throw a party for him. So, he kept it low.

“No, she didn't. It's probably nothing serious. You know she needs her freedom sometimes.” 

Sam didn't look at him, his mouth a thin line and his eyes staring at the stir-fry which was cooking in the pan he had set up. 

“Yeah, you're right.”

“...So, I can have some?”, Steve asked pointing at the pan and raising an eyebrow.

Sam lifted two plates out of the cupboard handing them to his friend.

“When have you ever not gotten anything?”, he gave back jokingly.


	3. Chapter 3 (cause I'm still so uncreative with titles)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back....after like 6 months?! I am so sorry but there was so much going on (and still is) and I just didn't have any creativity or inspiration.  
> And then Civil War came out ang gave me so many feels again that I remembered: I love these two, I have never not loved them and they are one of my fav pairing.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I try to get into it again.
> 
> And from now on the chapters will be shorter for personal preference reasons!

„Come on, buddy! It's just a little water“, Steve tried to calm down the labrador whom he had already picked up by the front while Natasha lifted his hind in a desperate attempt to get him into the bathtub. 

Barney tried to strugggle free but by now they were experienced in his childish behaviour regarding bathing.   
It wasn't that he didn't like water in general, he just seemed to have some bias against shower heads which spit out water against his body.

With a splashy sound they let him into the lukewarm liquid.  
Deeply offended Barney turned his head to look at them, his body giving off a miserable expression from ears to tail. 

Natasha let out a huff and swiped the sweat off of her forehead. 

„That was some work. At least get him proper clean I think I will stink 'cause of him all day.“

„Don't be so mean! That is not stinking that is the lovely smell of a man's best friend“, Steve argued and took a deep breath pretending to enjoy what was brought to his nose.

„Yeah, whatever. Have fun“, Natasha waved it off strolling outside as Steve positioned Barney and took the shower head. 

He spent a good 30 minutes on trying to get his pawed friend clean, rubbing and brushing through the fur mercilessly even when Barney started to grumble a little. 

By the end he smelled like a weird mix of cotton candy and a flowery field in spring.

His fur was bright blond again and after that whole procedure he was as happy as always running around Steve as they made their way back to the field.

The labrador ran to meet his friends to play and Steve only had the mission to shut the door for him.   
It was a lazy day, no classes and no major appointments.

But he was particularly nervous about this one certain event. 

Just this morning Skye had asked him to be there when James would get his own project dog just as Barney and Rufus were for him.

I was nothing thaaat special if you saw it like that but somehow Steve's cheeks heated up with a familiar burn when he agreed to be there.   
The more it happened the more it irritated him and lately it happened a lot.

He took a look at his watch. 

He had nothing to do anymore but he didn't want to be super early...then again he didn't want to be late and being too early was better than being late wasn't it?  
What if he was the first to arrive? That would be weird as he just was a guest or sometthing similar. 

In the end he decided to slowly, like really slowly, walk over to the kennels.  
After 30 seconds he was annoyed by his slow pace so he moved faster...and grew more tense.

Fortunately he wasn't the first to arrive.   
Unfortunately the one already there was James and Steve couldn't threw the thought out of his head about how good that guy looked in a black t-shirt and a jeans overall.   
One houlder was out of place and loosely hung over his upper arm.

Steve swallowed and put on a polite smile.

„Oh, you're here already. Thought I'd be first“, he said awkwardly.

Just now James noticed him and smiled as well for a moment.   
It didn't go unnoticed by Steve and it was as if he'd seen heaven for a split second.

„Yeah, thought I'd better be early...don't really know what is appropriate. Seems to be a big deal“, he answered rubbing his neck.

„It certainly is, I mean..it's not!“, Steve tried to reassure as James shot him a worried look,“ I mean ugh...it's exciting. And probably new for you but it is okay.“ 

James nodded.

Great Rogers, Steve thought to himself, nobody could've explained that better, congrats.

He hoped that, out of the blue, Skye would appear and make this less awkward but of course nothing like that happened.

Frantically he tried to find a topic to talk about.

Then James already took the choice off him.

„You know, I always wanted a dog when I was younger. All of my friends did have one and I could play with them from time to time but I guess it is nothing like having one of your own.“

Steve blinked, his brain working to process the message.

„Well,“ he started, „you're definetely not going to be left alone with your dog. Technically it's not fully yours.“

„Yeah, I know,“ James answered, a little crease building between his eyes as he thought about it.  
„It's just more responsibility than I am used to“, he answered after a pause. 

Steve couldn't really figure out if he meant that as a bad or a good thing.  
He was sure James would adjust though.

Skye was late...Nothing unusual. She appeared bubbly as usual, a leash in her hand, following her a beautiful Siberian husky. 

He seemed scared, his eyes hastily roaming around settling on both men for a second before wandering on to the stalls and the field where you could see the other dogs playing.

„Hey, guys! So this is our new project dog...or better yours, James“, she announced handing the leash to him.

He hesitated for a moment.  
Then took it carefully as if he could break it, gently kneading the end and getting a feel of the fabric. 

Steve was mesmerized by his moving fingers, he would've never thought to see such gentleness in the former prisoner.

„Okay,“ James said quietly when he noticed Skye looking at him wipping forth and back on her heels.

She smiled at him: „He doesn't even have a name yet, so feel free to choose one! You got until tomorrow."

He nodded.   
It seemed like checking out his new friend silenced him completely.  
His face looked like his mind was buffering.

Stop being a creep, Steve told himself mentally. He shook his head trying to think of a non-awkward way to say bye at this moment.

Skye stopped him right in the motion of bringing up his hand.

„Would you mind personal-coaching James for the next couple of weeks or so? Just so he can get the most out of his time here!“

„Sure.“  
It shot out of him way too fast.   
He hadn't even fully grasped on what she had asked him for.   
Now he realized.  
And he tried to stay as calm and possible and not facepalm himself right there.

James eyes were on him the second he had agreed.  
Was it obvious how fast he had answered? Was it weird?

„Okay! Perfect! Then I'll leave you guys alone!“, and off she went almost jumping excitedly. 

The Husky looked after her but didn't move.

He was either hopeful she'd come back any second or still confused what he was supposed to do here anyway.

Steve could feel James waiting for him to say something.  
Steve tried to find something useful to say. 

Well, James didn't seem like the guy who would joyfully play with the dog for the next hour.

Didn't he like dogs? But wait he said he'd always wanted one... What was supposed to happen now? Maybe they should just go and get the new one a kennel of his own and some food.

„Food is always nice, human- and dog-wise“, James said almost trying to encourage Steve.

Talking out loud again....  
Steve let out an agonized laugh and turned to go.

„Yeah, sure“, he smiled over his back towards James who followed without a word.

*

 

After settling the husky in his own kennel with some food and water they sat down in the staff room for a break.

Steve had showed James where he could store the leash and collar. 

„Have you decided on a name yet?“, he asked when they sat down.   
James grabbed his backpack roaming around in it with his right hand.

He got out two protein bars and offered Steve one.  
Steve took it.

„No, kind of have a block with it“, James answered thoughtfully taking a bite of his bar. 

Steve opened the package and smelled it. He would never go for a protein bar in his life or at least before he wouldn't. 

He knew Natasha always had some but she trained like 6 days a week, be it kickboxing class or just her regular ballet lessons.  
She probably needed it.

He remembered that he wanted to accompany her to kickboxing class again when he could.  
He planned to send her a message when she'd go next.

Now he had other things to worry about.   
He wanted to be encouraging but without making a fool out of himself.

„Half of the names you can cross out as he's male.“

James only nodded and kept on chewing.  
His eyes staring unfocused at some point in the air.

Steve got used to him not saying much.

He now appreciated the silence because he didn't have to speak if he couldn't come up with anything and it didn't seem to matter.

It gave him more time to study James' face.  
Creepy but not that creepy considering the fact he tried to hide it at least sheepishly looking from the corner of his eyes.  
This man was a delight.

After work he would have to meet up with Natasha, to hell with texting.   
He needed to have a talk. It was emergency code „hot pocket“.  
Now that he thought about it they should find another name for it.

About to text Nat he saw the time. He was done with work since 10 minutes.   
He was only supposed to work half the time today.

„I think I gotta go...I mean I don't have to but my shift's over so..“  
„No, problem. We are basically done here today right?“

They watched each other.

„Uh, yes...Let him get used to everything first. We'll begin training tomorrow.“

He shouldered his backpack, grabbed his jacket and was about to leave when he had an idea.   
Maybe Nat would slap him for that, maybe not, he would see.

He turned around putting on his politest normal smile showing a few teeth.

„If anything comes up or you have questions I could give you my number so you can text me.“

James waited for a moment. He seemed to think something through.  
He should've known it was weird.   
Skye was here and everyone else was perfectly able to help out as well, he should've never taken such a risk just to get a guy's number and after all it probably seemed like he was desperately trying to make friends and...

„Sure.“

Just like this.

James handed Steve a small notebook, choosing a page so Steve had no chance of seeing anything else of it than blank pages.

He also handed him a pen which Steve took with slightly shaking hands hoping it would go unnoticed. 

Quickly he scribbled his phone number onto the paper and gave it back. 

„See you tomorrow“, James said.

„Yeah, see ya,“ Steve got out and tried to smile again so that it would actually reach his eyes to not look fake.

It felt tense though.  
His whole face, his whole body.

When he got on the bus he let out a deep breath in a painful cry, finally getting to cover his face with his hands and then smiling like an idiot into the darkness.

He actually started laughing. It was pathetic.

*

 

He shut the door closed behind him, then the next without even shouting that he was home - Sam would hear – let himself fall onto his bed face front and groan into his pillow.

That was awful.   
It had happened again.  
The most random person ever.  
Not even Steve's type.  
Why?  
Shitty dude who looked good with long hair.   
Wasn't that impractical?

He stayed like this for some minutes.   
The he got up, changed into a comfy hoody and some sweatpants before he went to the kitchen.

He got out some milk and heated it up in the microwave before putting in some cocoa powder.  
Would he put in a shot of Amaretto....Why not.

When Sam got out of his room Steve was already sitting on the couch in the living room sipping his cocoa.  
Sam raised an eyebrow enquiring silently. 

It was odd but it rang a bell in his head.

„Are you okay?“, he asked cautiously. 

„Depends“, Steve answered, „Do you know if Nat is coming over later?“

„As far as I know she had planned, why?“

„Just cause...“

It was more than strange and Sam still didn't know why it seemed familiar.   
He tried to notice all hints and put the puzzly together. 

Unusally calm, comfortable clothes, hot cocoa...TLC on the TV...

„Steve no.“

„Sam yes.“  
„Who?“

„You don't know him.“

Abruptly Sam turned around, his phone in his hand already.

„Nat, please come asap. Emergency „hot pocket“ is occuring.“

*

She came an hour later.   
They all had been sitting in a circle since she came.  
That was two hours ago and Sam was already giving up and just lying on the floor about to fall asleep.

„I mean...not that it surprises me“, Nat started after Steve was done swooning over James Barnes, „You had this look in your eyes when you saw him.“

Steve had already made himself his third cup of hot chocolate.  
It was good to talk to Natasha though she'd rather have him not crushing cause he was awful when crushing.  
It would turn into an obsessive whine and he always was too shy to make a move so he sobbed it out whenever he was meeting with Nat. 

Ususally it was at least guys he knew were queer.   
Not ex-prisoners who could kill you in a second.

Steve was not skinny like at puberty anymore, but his hand-foot coordination was still off sometimes.  
And James probably knew how to handle a gun.

„Now what?“ His question wasn't necessarily destined for anyone in this room to answer but Nat took it upon her anyway.

„You get over it. Or make a move. And we both know you won't make a move.“

„Thanks, Nat. What a friend you are...“

She got up.

„As if you've done it before. And this is even riskier. We don't know him, he seems pretty closed up and more than likely straight as fuck or else he would've gotten beat to death in prison.“

Steve sighed again. One of many sighs this evening.

He was lost on this.   
Nat was right... But he couldn't keep himself from thinking about him.

Natasha had to leave and said they would see tomorrow how they worked together on James' dog anyway.  
Sam excused himself to bed as well as soon as she had closed the door behind her so Steve set his mug down in the kitchen sink and went to bed, too.  
He stayed awake for some time thinking it through,  
After all James had his number now and he was basically the guy's mentor. 

He would get to know James, it was just open if it was for good or bad.   
Steve wished it was for good but he also knew he was pretty naive when it came to his crushes. 

He wouldn't be able to bring himself not to crush over James for the next weeks.  
Maybe it would tone down though and he would grow out of this crush which was basically the stupidest one he'd ever had. 

The only good thing he could think about was that tomorrow he could study James more.   
He would have whole days with him alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve was staring at the menu in front of him while Natasha babbled about her perfect surprise party plan for Sam.  
She had been talking relentlessly for the past ten minutes.  
He thought about taking some chocolate cake only.

Bitter chocolate...just like the colour of James' hair ....Damnit.

„Are you even listening to me?“, she interrupted his thinking.

„Sure, cake, music...friends, an awful lot of alcohol,“ he answered putting down the menu card.

Nat took it immediately and slapped him with it.

„Pay attention, Rogers. It's next weekend. Have you told the others already?“

Steve sighed. Right now he really couldn't be less bothered with this party.  
All he wanted to do was think about how great James was and how even more great he would be if he just got the chance to get to know him more.

They had spend half the day together at the training ground, Steve giving him a lecture about basic dog knowledge and how to best handle „Zima“.  
James' had told Steve the chosen name as soon as they met in the morning blooming with slight excitement.

„Thought about it all night.“

He had smiled so brightly it had made Steve’s heart pound in his chest like it was going to jump right out of his ribcage.

Steve blinked.

„Uh, yes...Clint is definetely coming he said, Wanda and Pietro weren't sure, but they'll try to make it.“

„And his co-workers?“

„Four said yes, three were like 'ha yeah maybe' so no.“

Nat scribbled all the info into her notebook.  
It was full of timetables and „To-Dos“ before next weekend.

All Steve had to plan was when to buy all the ingredients for the cake.

Natasha wasn't necessarily stressed out but she had never planned such a thing before and even though she was perfectly able, you could see she'd rather spend her time with more important things.

„Will you get me from ballet class tomorrow and help me shop?“, she asked as she put away her notebook and gave the waiter a sign to come over. 

A small, thin man approached their table offering them a bleach-white smile and took their orders.  
„Sure, the next three days I just work in four hour shifts until noon.“

He propped his head onto his hand while using the other one to play with a toothpick.  
He knew he was awfully quiet but he didn't feel like talking.  
Well, except it would involve James. It was a horrible state of mind he was in and even he knew it.

She tapped his arm. Natasha's eyes conveyed some sort of pity when they met his.

He groaned.

„That's pathetic, Stevie.“

„I know.“

„Go out and get yourself a distraction.“

He huffed.  
As if he was the type to do the distraction fuck thing.

He was not up to talking about it today.

Their food came and they ate in silence as Nat noticed he wasn't starting any conversation, so she let him be.

*

Steve wasn't prepared to find James' and Zima on the floor cuddling.  
Or better, James reading a book about some kind of house maintenance and the husky spread out over his legs.

He managed to suppress a squeal which was building in his throat.

James wore a grey tank top and his usual black jeans and combat boots.  
Steve missed the jeans overall, but with James wearing it only sometimes it felt like a special occasion for his eyesight whenever he did.

Strands of his hair fell into his face keeping it in the shadows while he read and took in the info of house construction

„You trying to build a home?“, Steve asked without even saying 'hello'.

James looked up to him, that left corner of his mouth twitching a little.  
He put the book aside.  
To get up he just had to shove Zima aside who felt disturbed but lied down straight after his paws touched the ground again, keeping an eye out for his assigned master.

James pointed around the room.  
„The walls...wanted to paint them, did you forget?“

Steve roamed the back of his brain.  
Right, when James came he talked about it and shit, Steve forgot to ask Coulson.  
He hadn't imagined James would still want to do it.

„Nooo, absolutely not,“ he answered taking a sip of water from his bottle he had grabbed out of the bag.

James came closer, „You did.“

„Okay, maybe...but I will ask him right now, okay?“, Steve tried to save himself.

James was kind of threatening but at the same time he wasn't at all.  
Steve had grown comfortable around him.  
He didn't want to test it though.

With Zima accompanying them, they made their way to Coulson's office.  
Steve knocked two times before just slightly opening the door and peeking inside.

Coulson called them in and Steve stated his concern.

„Fine with me, I'll give you the money back for all the materials but try to do it in one day.“

And out they were again.  
A little too fast for Steve's liking, but he thought if Coulson approved, there could be no problem.

„I will go get the stuff in the afternoon and tomorrow we can get going“, Steve said.

James listed him all the things required for the project.

Steve started to get into the mood of a new task that didn't involve dogs for once.  
It was also highly possible that he could do something artistic, creating a certain pattern or design, even if it was just one wall as the whole room would take too much time.

They decided on the colours.  
They planned where to put all the furniture while they painted.

It was all so easy, easier than it has been before talking to James.

Steve indulged in the warm feeling his stomach spread out all over his body, to every last nerve in his little toe and pinky finger.

In the end they decided to go for a walk with the dogs.  
James didn't knew all the paths yet and Steve was keen to show him, though he didn't say it out loud.  
He tried to let his shoulders hang loose and tenseless, make his walk look cool and controlled.

Steve wanted to show him his favourite path.  
Barney already knew which way to go.

They strolled through high grass on a small sandy path, Steve explaining to James how to handle Zima the best on the leash.  
Now that the husky had gotten comfortable with everyone around him he began to show more courage and excitement trying to sniff here and there and even pulling hard when he wanted to explore certain places.

Of course James was more than able to hold him back but the dog was still supposed to listen to his commands.

Eventually they had to walk behind one another, Steve and Barney ahead, as the path became narrower.

They entered a vibrantly green stretch of land, which merged into a small lake riddled with swimming ducks and water lilies.

 

Steve made a sweeping gesture.

„Welcome to the calmest spot in the area.“

With a quick snap he let Barney loose who then proceeded to run in torpedo-like manner towards the water, scaring away the water fowl which saved itself to the other side of the lake.

„Should I...?“, James asked what Steve answered with a nod, so he unleashed Zima as well.

He sniffed the waves coming up in front of him before carefully taking a step into them.  
Barney ran back to get him and off they went playing in the water.

Steve sat down in the grass, unable to lift his gaze from the dogs with a wide spread smile.

For a moment James was unsure what to do but decided to just mimic Steve and sat down beside him.  
He tried to relax and not see this as a lesson or some kind of test.

„When I need some peace or time-out I like to come here and just sit and watch Barney“, Steve quietly muttered.  
It came so suddenly and soft; James almost couldn't make sense of it.

„I understand. It is very...silent“, he answered in the same volume.  
It was as if not to disturb the nature around them.  
It was like a closed-off space where everything was okay and worries were forgotten.

For a moment Steve thought about grabbing his notebook and sketch something but he didn't want to look like a weird nerdy amateur artist, especially not with James directly beside him.  
There was another time for that.

He lied back in the grass looking up to the sky.

„Are you scared of me?“, James asked all of a sudden, so Steve had to turn his head and look up to him.

„You can be honest.“

They locked gazes.

„No, actually...“, he gave back.„I mean, I wondered about stuff but I think I could defend myself just fine.“

James chuckled.

„Of course you could. You're a big boy after all.“

That comment made Steve's neck become patchy and he turned away looking upwards again.

James moved closer, reached out, and flicked his finger against the blond ones temple.

„Ow! Why?“, Steve yelled rolling to the other side.

„What is big boy even doing when he's not here petting dogs?“

James still smiled as if he found it extremely funny to torture Steve who was turning around again but sitting up so he could actually defend himself if it came to it.

He eyed James suspiciously.

„Just studying I guess...Veterinary science.“

He had never found himself to be particularly interesting whether it was hobbies, jobs or even everyday life.  
And he mostly didn't like to talk about himself anyway.

„Never been to jail?“, James laughed as if he'd made a hilarious joke.  
Steve couldn't manage to hold back a chuckle.

„Most certainly not, no. Did I miss anything?“

„Most certainly not.“

The atmosphere felt comfortable.  
The whole day had felt so easy between them but here it was even more „just them“.

It was like a zoned bubble of safe space where nobody was watching them.

„You can call me Bucky by the way“, James said without watching him.

In the lake Zima barked at Barney because the labrador had stolen his stick.

Steve went over the pet name several times, tasting it in his mind.

„Bucky?“, he spoke it out quietly.

„My full name is James Buchanan Barnes...but don't tell anyone. And the nickname is reserved for friends.“

Steve tried not to think too much about the term „friends“ and what it could mean in this case.  
So, he only nodded in agreement.

Barney was done playing and ran towards them, all wet and drippy.  
Zima followed close behind looking like he had the time of his life.

Both dogs flicked themselves off in front of their masters and immediately started rolling around in the grass to get dry.

„Time to go I guess.“, Steve said, got up and put the leash back on.

*

 

So far he had found everything for his cake, which he carried in a large plastic bag while roaming the shelves for some decorations.  
To be more precise, he was looking for party hats.

It didn't matter if Sam didn't want any, Steve wanted them.  
Though he was sure Sam would appreciate it, him and Steve had the same sense of humor most of the time even if Sam always tried to look like the reasonable one.

He grabbed some with balloons and confetti on them, standard but he liked the colour combinations.  
Still 30 minutes to go before he had to get Nat.  
Maybe he could try to find a present, though he didn't deemed it necessary as he already baked the cake and helped Nat prepare everything.

He put the hats in the basket and kept strolling.

Eventually he decided to just buy more snacks for the party so Nat wouldn't have to do it anymore and so he had snacks at home again.  
He hadn't been shopping for two weeks and all Sam bought was healthy stuff to cook and lately Steve didn't feel like cooking...or healthy for that matter.

Quickly bringing everything to the cashier and checking out, he made his way to Nat's dance school.

By now he knew almost everyone, at least the staff and the people who were in his friend's class.  
He left the bags at the reception desk, entered the room quietly and sat beside the piano.

Classical music escaped the boxes, a rather fast piece.

When it came to a sudden stop it was as if life had stopped.  
Everybody froze mid-motion except for the teacher, a small, wiry woman with a perfect bun, who was wandering around correcting postures and facial expressions.

They stood like this for it must've been about 2 minutes before she clapped her hands and declared the lesson to be over.

Laughter and babbling ensued and Nat came up to him all sweaty but looking satisfied.

„Did you get everything?“, she asked helping him up.

„Yeah, it's outside. Let's get it and head home.“

He waited for her to change, which didn't took long.  
Natasha was precise and quick in everything she did.

She tapped his arm when they got outside.

„By the way, Darcy had been called to the parking lot you guys were at the last time and she found even more pups. Gladly they are all in good shape but I thought I'd let you know.“

„That's great...still shit that we didn't see them when we were there the last time. Bu- James even asked me to look again.“

They stepped onto the bus heading to Steve's apartment.  
It was full and the familiar smell of old beer stains was hanging around.

Then he remembered what he had forgotten.

At the next station they got off, Natasha following Steve to the nearest Walmart.  
She held the plastic bags for him as he searched for the right paint, brushes and everything else he would need the next day.

„Coulson doesn't even pay you extra to renovate so why the hassle?“, she asked not sure what to make out of Steve's ambition.

He let several brushes and tape fall into the shopping cart.

„Because I promised James. It was his idea.“

Nat raised an eyebrow at him, so he turned around and continued his trip.

„You are in sooo deep, Rogers. Not that I hadn't known before, I’m just saying.“

Steve scoffed at her words, though he knew it was true.  
It didn't matter anyway, he was always...mostly nice to people and helping them out, so he wouldn't make an exception for Bucky.  
,  
Bucky...oh how he loved to even just think about this name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! 
> 
> Btw for everyone who is wondering. "Zima" is the russian word for winter and I thought it would fit a siberian husky quite well! 
> 
> I'll really try to keep up with a more regular update schedule


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye! I hope you enjoy the newest chapter.
> 
> I have some stuff to do in the next couple of weeks so I'll see if I can get the next chapter up in two weeks and onwards.   
> But for now I seem to be fine as chapter 6 is already almost done!

This morning was a mess.  
Steve woke up way too early but couldn't get back to sleep no matter how hard he tried.

He decided on making breakfast.  
It was an unusual thing for him to do especially over the week as he never really had time, nor did Sam.

When his roomate came out in the morning smelling the sweetness of Steve's nutella strawberry pancakes he couldn't help but run into the kitchen before even getting done with his pre-breakfast bathroom routine.

Sam bolted it down as if it was his last meal while Steve drank a cup of hot chocolate and munched on a cereal bar.

He planned to pack two pancakes for work.

„You know, sometimes it is nice having you as a roommate. You could have bad sleep more frequently“, Sam said as he placed the dirty dishes in the sink.

„Pff, thanks a lot. As long as you clean up afterwards.“, Steve countered.

When he tried to dress himself he stubbed his toe, in the shower he almost slipped making the whole stall shake as he held on to the sides.

All in all he couldn't be bothered.  
He was too excited for the day.

He knew he would forget something even though he went over everything he was packing a thousand times.

He tried to find a basic overall he could get dirty without having to worry about it.  
He didn't even have an overall...  
After all he decided on simple blue jeans and a black shirt he couldn't even remember buying.

Fully packed with the utensils and his backpack he arrived at the centre.

It looked like Natasha had already been waiting for him as she stood right in front of the stalls just done with feeding.

„This is as ridiculous as it can get“, she said.

„Good morning to you, too.“

Steve put down everything to wipe some sweat off his forehead.

„Have you seen James?“  
It was his only concern right in that moment.

„Sure thing, already at the staff room. Have fun with him“, she said suggestively and winked.  
Steve shuddered.

„Stop it, Nat.“

She only grinned and got back to work while Steve headed into the building.  
It felt like something would fall any second as it was all cramped in his arms now.  
Like a professional racewalker he stormed into the room letting everything fall onto the couch, which was already covered in plastic wrap.

Straightaway Bucky came to his side and prevented the tape and black paint can from hitting the ground.

„Easy there, big boy. We have time.“, Bucky reassured.

He grabbed several small cans and arranged them on the ground.

„Already wrapped everything, we just need to get it out of the way.“, he said while Steve emptied what was left in his bag.

They carried out one piece of furniture after another with a little break in-between to go pet their dogs good morning.

Then they put a tape line where the paint job should end and laid out more plastic sheets all over the ground.

Steve felt like a little boy getting to play around without getting in trouble.  
Fortunately the centre had showers or else it would be pretty weird to ride the bus later.

They sat their stuff aside and began with a prime coat of white.

 

Steve was used to drawing for a long time, putting hours of work into pictures, but just rolling up and down several times for approximately 30 minutes already tired his mind and arms for that matter.  
So far there was not much fun in painting.

Bucky's company helped incredibly though.  
He was so open, asked Steve about all sorts of things.

„Have you always liked dogs?“  
„How long have you worked here?“  
„Since when have you and Natasha been friends?“

Steve tried not to talk too much, in order to not seem annoying, but it was hard when Bucky always started the conversation over and over again.  
He wanted to ask something back but he didn't know what was appropriate and was too much in awe about Bucky anyway.

He had his hair in a bun like most of the time, some delicate strands framing his face.  
His hands were already covered in white freckles and bigger spots drying to a crust and highlighting the wrinkles of his skin.  
Steve hoped he looked at least half this pretty while painting.  
After the priming the wall they took a break.

„Tomorrow I won't be able to feel my arm anymore“, Steve sighed out.

He placed the roller on the plastic, went to his bag lying in the corner and took out his water bottle.  
Bucky sat down on the ground.

„We've only just started. Better prepare for the next round.“, he answered releasing his bun.

Then Steve had an idea and left to search in the cupboard they had brought out.  
He found an old small radio but he knew it worked, sometimes he kept it going while taking a break, so it would surely be useful to make the whole process of painting easier to endure.

„Care for some music?“, he asked excitedly coming back in.

It took a while to get a signal with the bent antenna.

Steve pressed several buttons, turning the knob at the same time to find a station suitable to his taste without much static noise.

In the end he settled on one that played crappy pop music which earned him a questioning glare from Bucky.

„Not that I didn't expect it...but really?“

„Come on, you love it, everybody does.“ Steve smiled and opened up another can of light beige paint.

Bucky inspected another package of brushes, carefully taking out a small, in comparison to general wall paint brushes, delicate one.

„What do you need that for?“, he asked holding it in front of Steve's face who looked up and took it.

„Details“, he answered as if it was obvious.

He gave it back to Bucky to put it away.

„When we settled on some designs I didn't think you would go all artist.“  
Bucky lightly dipped the brush in the white paint.

„Well, I am an artist...kinda...but normally I use pencil.“, Steve was almost embarrassed to reveal.

Art was not exactly manly and all he had tried to do these days was to subtly impress Bucky in everything he said; choosing his words and answers carefully.

The other one didn't seem to mind at all.

„You always surprise me, big boy. Are you even any good?“, Bucky teased.  
Steve involuntarily puffed up, a crease building between his brows.

„I like to think so. People tell me I am good!“

He didn't know what to make of Bucky's chuckle, he felt insulted nonetheless.

He turned to the beige bucket again setting it aside to open another one.  
Did Bucky make fun of him? Oh, god that was awful....  
But he was good, he knew it.  
Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.

In the corner of his peripheral vision he could make out Bucky's hand coming closer holding the brush, its tip now white.  
Before he could react Bucky flicked the tip in Steve's direction sprinkling white spots all over his face

„Now, you look like an artist.“

„That was an assassination attempt!“, Steve yelled at him but couldn't stay serious.

He grabbed the white paint, dipped his fingers in and threw a few drops in Bucky's general direction.  
It landed on his neck and chin but he didn't even flinch.

„Don't test me, Steve.“

And Steve threw again hitting the right side of Bucky's face.

Now that he came to think of it, he noticed that Bucky was standing while he was in a squatting position which gave his opponent an advantage.

He regretted all his life choices when Bucky acted fast, dipping his hand in the liquid white colour and pressed it into Steve's face, his other one supporting the neck and head so that the blond couldn't escape.

Steve lifted his hands in a sad attempt to stop the other one.

They both toppled over landing on the hard floor with a thud, fortunately not knocking anything over.  
Cackling about each other they lied on the ground, Steve turning to look if Bucky was okay, brown eyes already meeting his and their laughter died.  
He felt weird being so close.  
Steve was uncomfortable with Bucky watching him so bluntly but he couldn't look away.

It felt as if he had done something wrong and was about to get punished for it.  
A playful ease spread inside of him when Bucky started smirking and Steve couldn't help himself but smiling back at him as if he had just waited on Bucky's command.

Before managing to get back up again the door openend and a worried Natasha peeked inside.

„Are you alr- the fuck is going on?“

She opened the door wider taking a proper look at the men on the ground still grinning like little children, their faces messy with paint.

It was a snorting laughter as they got up, Bucky patting Steve's back before turning around and picking up his roller.

„Just had a little break. We should be done with the second coating in an hour.“, Steve cleared his throat, „we'll do the rest tomorrow.“

Natasha nodded, not sure what to make of the two.

„No problem. Let the stuff stay outside of the room.“

We need to talk, she mouthed before vanishing.

Steve was not up for that, definitely not.  
This was awkward enough right now and he didn't want to address it.  
He couldn't even figure out what had happened in this short moment of intimacy.

It seemed like Bucky didn't have the desire to address it either.  
All the laughter was gone.  
The usual emotionless face, Bucky was known for, was back.

“Next coat?”, he asked, handing Steve his roller.

He took it, carefully intending to not touch fingers.

They spent the next hour painting with the music running in the background.  
Both of them ignored the incident, though the more he could feel the paint drying on his face, the harder it was for him to shut the thoughts off.

In the end he felt like crumbling under the weight of overthinking.  
It had been too obvious, Bucky just had to know now what Steve felt and he'd probably rather want to beat him now, than to work with him.

When the clock hit 12 Steve immediately lied down everything, washed his face and brought himself to at least give Bucky a proper goodbye before he made his way to Coulson's office.

“Rogers? Here again?”, he got greeted.

Steve fumbled with his hands before coming to the point.

“Well, yeah...I wanted to ask if it may be possible for me to take a day off. I don't feel well.”

Coulson browsed through some papers, nodding.

“Shouldn't be a problem, you have to use 2 free days more anyway because you actually worked too much last month.”

“Thank you.”

It was a childish thing to do.  
He didn't need the time out and it was not okay to back out now just because of irrational fear which wasn't even relevant as the most that could happen would be to be ignored by Bucky.

But he didn't even want to face him.  
He also didn't want to face Natasha but she would be at his doorstep latest by tomorrow evening.

He knew he was being ridiculous but he needed some unnecessary time-out and he would have it.  
*

At some point late that night he thought he could just go tomorrow anyway.  
Coulson wouldn't care if he said he'd feel better and he had classes to hold and dogs to cuddle.  
Rufus needed more training.

He rolled around and put on another Disney movie on his laptop.  
For the art, of course.  
And he had already watched his favourite Mission Impossible parts.

Maybe it was weird to just not come back after this day, Bucky could become even more suspicious.

Well, who cared. Definitely not Steve.

Since a long time he actually stayed up late until 2 a.m.  
Usually he had to go to work or uni, or just in general didn't like to sleep in all day.

Natasha had sent him a message that she wouldn't make it to come around this evening.  
He hadn't told her anything, just answered with a short “okay” and left it with this.  
After all she would notice him not being at work soon enough and would come around to hold a lecture and mock him.

Steve groaned.  
He was so not up for it.  
He didn't want to talk about it or anything for that matter and certainly not about Bucky.

All his bad-boyishness aside, he was a super cool guy, Steve really liked him.  
It was too much, too much Steve wanted and didn't want.  
It was embarrassing to reveal himself that much, though in that moment it had felt so right, as if there was something between them.

But even if there was, he would never be able to bring up the courage to just go all in.  
Too many risks.

He fell asleep during the movie.

*

The morning was slightly better.  
He hadn't turned on his alarm clock on purpose so oversleeping would help him stay home.

He considered, again, to just go and face it.  
But being 3 hours late put a damper on it.

Sam was already gone when he woke up to take a shower.

What did he usually do if he didn't have anything to do all day?  
He could check his university's website to look up his scores.

Steve made a mental checklist for the day which required nothing to get exhausted over.

After he was clean and dressed he decided to go grocery shopping.  
Then he started reading a book Natasha had given him months ago but he still hadn't come around to read it.  
Then he called his mom which he also hadn't done in a while and to be honest he was a little ashamed of it

He promised to come around sometime soon, maybe even for a whole weekend.  
The feeling of dearly missing sitting in the kitchen and watching her prepare food hit him unexpectedly.

Maybe it was the hormones, maybe he just wanted to be home and let his mom figure things out for him, as she had always done when he was still living with her.

Leaving her had been a big change for Steve.  
He had never desired to finally get out of the house.  
He knew it was healthy to go, but it meant leaving his mom entirely on her own after all she had done for him.  
They had been the perfect team, no matter which age Steve had been in  
Sarah Rogers was the most accepting, hardworking person he knew and it had played a huge role throughout his life, especially when she took on both tasks, working full time and caring for her young sickly boy.

Steve knew he could never thank her enough.  
It bothered him though that his studies and work had tricked his mind into seeing that as more important than his mom.

While still on the phone with her he looked up his scores.  
Nothing new.

She told him everything would be alright and that he was a smart boy.  
He laughed and waved it off saying it were his genes if it came to it, thereat he earned a laugh from her telling him to stop with the fake flattering.

“I will make your favourite lasagna when you come around, alright?”, she stated more than she was asking.  
“Sounds great, I'm definitely up for that”, he chuckled.

“Then come around soon.”

“Will do, mom...see ya”

They hung up and Steve was left alone again in his quiet apartment.  
And hungry for lasagna he haven't had in 2 years.

He strolled through his room aimlessly trying to find something to occupy his mind with.  
His sketchbook was lazily lying on the window sill.

The drawings were nothing new, nothing professional, just quick sketches whenever he found a scenery he liked to perpetuate.  
The easel which he had gotten for his 18thbirthday was standing in the corner of his room covered by a smooth white sheet.

Steve looked back and forth between the two. He didn't know if he was in the mood, but maybe he should just start and see where it went.  
After all, the expensive oil paints Natasha gave to him last Christmas were still unused and sat in his drawer waiting for action.

He took his book with him and opened his laptop.  
Some music to dispel the silence.  
Then he took of the sheet, put the easel in place in the middle of the room and rummaged around for some brushes and paint.  
Setting the open book up next to him for reference he began sketching the original onto the big canvas before going on with the outlines and the rest of the colour.

He'd chosen an idyllic one with Barney at the lake.

It was his favourtite mood to paint. It was relaxing to create such a piece and in the end it would be relaxing to look at.

He dipped his brushes into the paint and started colouring.  
Forgetting time was a normal thing for him when working on art, it probably was for everyone.

He finished the outlines quickly, continuing with filling in some colours but left the details and shadowing for later.

Just when he set aside the tools the doorbell buzzed.  
With a wet cloth in his hands to get off excess of the paint he ran to the door to open it up, not at all surprised to see Natasha coming up the stairs.

She shoved a paper bag to his chest with a short „Hey, Stevie.“  
By feeling he could tell donuts were inside.

Natasha went straight for the couch in the living room dropping herself on it and looking at Steve expectantly.  
He set the bag aside and threw the cloth into the kitchen sink before returning to her.  
„I missed you at work today.“, she said when he came to take a seat next to her on the couch.

„Didn't feel all too well yesterday.“

„Oh, yeah..sure know why.“

„Nat, please-“

„No no it's okay. Childish, but okay.“  
She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, zapping aimlessly through the channels.  
Steve just sat and waited for her to say something.  
He didn't dare to start.  
His friend could trap him with whatever he said, it was a profession of hers.

When she settled on the news she turned to him. 

„Are you coming tomorrow?“

„No“, he answered sheepishly, „Need some....rest.“

She scoffed.

„You can't avoid him forever, especially since you two need to finish the room.“

„Don't remind me..”, his expression was almost painful.

Facing Bucky was an issue he rather wanted to push as far back into his head as he could.  
Fortunately Natasha changed the topic.

Everything was ready for the party and she wanted it to be the best party Sam had ever had.  
There was enough food, enough people and enough alcohol.  
According to her it would be a whole lot of fun.

Steve already knew he would probably have to babysit some drunk bastard as he always had to when all of them partied together.  
He could also just get wasted himself.  
Natasha would try to bring him down anyway so why bother resisting when the party was in his own four walls.

“Have to get to ballet class”, she excused herself and got up from the couch shouldering her bag.

Steve escorted her to the door.

“I guess we will see each other Saturday?”

“Sure thing,” Steve answered now in a much better mood than before.

She turned around already at the stairs before turning around one last time.

“Oh, and I hope you don't mind I invited James, see ya!”

Before Steve could say anything she was down the first steps.  
He was too frozen to yell or even run after her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Sorry for the long wait. I just recently started university and moved away and at my new home I don't have wi-fi yet :-))))) 
> 
> But anyway I hope you like this chapter and have fun reading it! Always tell me what you think!

The cold water emerging from the tap calmed Steve's mind simply by rushing.   
He collected some in his hands and washed his face. 

Dressed in a dark long-sleeved shirt and tight black jeans he considered himself appropriate for Sam's party.  
He had spent hours on deciding what to wear. 

After Natasha had left he hadn't called her to ask more about her stupid plan if there was one.  
There seemed to be though.  
It was not how Steve had expected his whole Friday to go standing in front of all his clothes and deciding on what was good looking enough but also casual so it didn't seem forced.   
Usually he would've asked Sam but naturally he shouldn't know about the party. 

 

This morning he finally settled it.   
It should be enough; too formal would not be in line with Steve Rogers everyday wardrobe.

He dried off his face before stepping out of the bathroom clean-shaven and with just a hint of perfume.

The whole apartment was decorated, well, at least the living room, kitchen and Sam's bedroom.   
There wasn't exactly much need and reason to prepare Steve's room.   
Colorful letters saying “Happy Birthday” hung on the wall over the TV and Natasha had placed a huge table directly in front of it with food and several bottles, not one containing something other than alcohol. 

Steve headed for the kitchen where he had just finished his massive 3-story large cake.   
He still wore his apron and didn't think about taking it off before they had successfully placed it on the birthday table.   
Too high the risk of his outfit getting messed up.

“Nat, I'm coming now!”, he shouted so she could hear it in the other room.

 

He held his masterpiece as far away from his body as possible and thanked god that he once had chosen to get a membership at the gym.

 

Swiftly Natasha made place for the sugary cake tower.  
Even she was amazed how good Steve was at baking.  
It seemed solid and stable, a fluffy cream all over it with a few fine details engraved in it, some candles and a font that said “Happy Birthday, you old fart”.  
That cake was Steve's creation for sure.  
Sam would eat it anyway.

“Everything is ready. Peggy is on her way and so are Clint and Pietro, they should be here any minute.”, Nat informed him.

“They better be, Sam is gonna arrive soon as well”, he answered putting the sofa out of the way so they could use the room to gather everyone.  
The rest of the invited would come later.   
Steve was sweating just at the thought of Bucky being in his apartment.  
Too close, too intimate, but still too much room and possibilities for Steve to embarrass himself.   
Not that he did have an idea how to explain his absence at work yet, though Natasha had lied for him and said he was actually a little sick so Bucky wouldn't have to wonder. 

And there he was anticipating a meeting which was destined to fail...He felt it.   
Maybe, with a little bit of luck, he wouldn't remember tomorrow morning.

 

When the doorbell rang Natasha rushed to the door with the brightest smile she could put up.  
Not that it wasn't genuine but it also had the shine so bright that you could say she was trying to deliver the best service at this party possible and that involved a waitress-like smile.

Steve hadn't seen Peggy in a long long time.   
Once they had something going on but while she had studied abroad in England, where her family originally came from, for two semesters they had decided to let it rest.   
She was a wonderful person and Steve admired her endlessly.   
To this day he was content it had been the right decision to break it off.

She was accompanied by her girlfriend Angie and Steve couldn't imagine a better fit for her, they just worked so well and seemed so balanced together.

 

She squealed when she saw Steve and jumped right into his arms. 

“Steve Rogers, aren't you looking good!”, she playfully boxed him against the shoulder. 

“Can return the compliment, Miss Carter. Hey, Angie!”, he kissed the other woman's cheek and indicated them to get into the living room. 

Clint and Pietro followed short after, carrying horrendously wrapped presents in their arms.   
Steve took some before everything fell.   
It was even hard for them to step inside through the door frame. 

The moment Clint laid eyes on the alcohol he forgot everything and poured himself a drink.

“Yeah, sure help yourself”, Natasha approached him sarcastically.

“Oh, come on! The earlier I start, the earlier you can stand me”, he laughed and took a sip. 

Natasha ran to turn the lights off.   
Her and Steve had lowered all the blinds to effectively shut out the sunlight so the whole room was covered in darkness.

They stood there waiting and quietly whispering for a good amount of 20 minutes before you could hear someone coming up to the door outside.   
They were sure it was Sam as they could listen to the sound of keys unlocking the door.

With a few hasty hand movements Natasha tried to get everyone in position.  
Only Steve was close enough to see her mouth One, Two, Three...

“Happy Birthdaaaay!”, the whole company shouted when Sam turned on the lights only to watch him as he jumped backwards and pressed himself into the wall out of shock.

“The fuck, guys!?”, he screamed, breathless but a smile coming to life on his face.

Natasha stepped forward, a party hat in her hand.

“We thought about throwing you a little party to your event.”, she explained all grinning and happy.

Steve could see Sam only had eyes for her in that moment.   
He grinned back at her and clasped her in his arms.   
Clint let out a sharp whistle, so Natasha turned around showing him her middle finger before putting the party hat onto Sam's head. 

 

Merely two hours later and Steve had a good drunk on.   
Everybody did actually.

Even just the few of them made that evening a party as they just knew each other so well but hadn’t met in a long time.

It was beginning to grow louder.  
Clint had demanded Steve to drink some shots with him just to see how long it would take to get him tipsy.  
Four shots of vodka and two beers to be precise.  
Luckily Natasha was well prepared and had stocked up for the occasion. Steve had lent her money as well, as the number of people to be served would’ve cost her an awful lot.

While Angie congratulated him on the cake and they had some chit-chat going on he occasionally spied into Nat’s direction.  
She was at Sam’s side, who was conversing with Pietro, laughing whole-heartedly at some joke one of them had made, and let her hand run up and down his back affectionately.  
Everything worked out well and exactly as he had hoped it would be.

The shrill of the bell rang through the laughter and shouting, the signal for Natasha to immediately head for the door letting in more guests, some of Sam’s co-workers.  
The only ones Steve really knew were Scott Lang and Tony Stark.

Scott because he had shared a room with Sam when they had first started university and Tony Stark only thanks to some of Sam’s work parties.   
The guy was insane and a know-it-all and Steve certainly didn’t mind if Stark would’ve avoided him all night tonight.

The other two he had no idea of who they were but as they all grabbed some drinks and awkwardly waved hello around the room one of them held eye contact with Steve longer than necessary.

Accompanied by a prickly feeling the little hairs in the nape of his neck jolted upwards though he wasn’t sure if in a pleasant way.  
Was he checked out?

He downed another shot with Peggy who was laughing and dancing at him.  
Angie didn’t mind she was more than excited to watch the show though Steve knew she was as gay as it could be but she could also be sure that Peggy loved her dearly.

“Come in and join the dancing!”, Peggy shouted at her over the music and held out her hand.   
Angie shook and threw back her head with a big grin on her face before answering:   
“Nope, thanks but I am more than happy with my seats.  
She wiggled her eyebrows at them both.  
He didn’t exactly know how much Peggy had had but she was definitely in a mood as she swayed over to her girlfriend, did a small lap dance for her and gave her a peck on the lips before returning and slapping Steve hard on his ass.

He rolled his eyes just for show.

“Still as rock hard as I remember”, Peggy smiled and took a sip from the cocktail Natasha had mixed her.

“It’s just the pants trust me”, he answered and copied her gesture on her very own ass.   
She jumped a little at the surprise.

“Blimey!,” he mocked her in a fake English accent she had always hated but endured for fun, “what a nice behind you have, ma’am.”

She pushed him slightly and mouthed a “fight me” at him before bursting into more laughter.

Steve decided to leave her to Angie and excused himself to get another drink.  
He had just opened up his beer when Nat entered the room with Bucky following her.  
Oddly Steve couldn’t remember hearing the doorbell or her storming out of the room. 

His confusion faded into a slight shock when Bucky’s eyes met his, the other man’s expression not faltering as usual.  
So unpredictable.   
Steve felt the need to pee. 

Sam was the first to reach Bucky and handed him a beer.  
He was probably introducing himself, as they didn’t even know each other, and pointed at the couch to sit with him and Tony.

Steve used the chance to make his way out of the room.  
Toilet. Now. Fast. 

Pietro held the door open as he was coming out of the bathroom anyway.

He looked blissfully happy.

“Did you puke? Man, how much have you already had?”, Steve couldn’t stop himself from converting into a mother hen.

“Well, less than you I guess but you are still standing...I’ll fix you something, meet me in two”, he said and headed for the drinks table.

Steve really did need to pee.  
Afterwards he still felt restless though and splashed some more cold water onto his wrists and face.   
He started to feel the alcohol now, his balance was slightly off. 

When he got back Pietro had already fixed him some disgusting mix of vodka, rum, fanta and coke. Two drinks in one basically.   
He had fixed it in a tall beer glass and probably more than half of it was alcohol. 

Steve drank it anyways but was careful not to down it senselessly.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that guy from earlier approaching him.  
He was tall, dark and good-looking.   
Something about him made Steve’s stomach turn but he couldn’t make out what it was exactly.

“Hello, there”, the guy said into his ear, already being closer than Steve would’ve liked it for a stranger. 

“Hey, and you are?”  
Did he sound cocky? Flirty? Annoyed? He couldn’t tell.  
He didn’t intend to be rude but he would’ve favored a little more space. 

“Sorry, seems like I forgot to introduce myself. Brock, Sam’s colleague. And you must be Steve, I’ve heard an awful lot about you.”

Steve politely smiled at him.

“I am that awful, huh?”

“I meant it more in a ‘Sam cannot shut up about you’ sense. You definitely don’t look awful to me.” 

With that Steve noticed him licking his lips eyeing him from head to toe like a hunter its prey.   
He wasn’t unused to one night stands and casual hook-ups so it wasn’t a look he hadn’t gotten before.  
He was just unsure if he should return the gaze, go all in, and take on the game. 

Then he remembered that Bucky was in the same room.  
Would he notice?  
Maybe Steve wanted him to notice.  
Otherwise he also kind of didn’t want him to be hurt…Not that it mattered cause why would it hurt him?

Steve moved closer to Brock, closing that tiny little gap that had still remained between them.

“Glad to hear that”, he said suggestively and offered him a smile showing his bright white teeth.

The others around them were dancing as well in the living room which seemed so small all of a sudden.   
It was all so familiar, yet so private so that he and Brock started grinding on each other in between their dance moves. 

Then Steve felt a hand grabbing his wrist and he was playfully yanked away by Sam.  
Brock, slightly taken off by the interruption turned around and continued dancing with that other co-worker Steve didn’t know.

“Hey, man, what’s wrong?”, Steve asked, a little red and sweaty but nonetheless happy in that exact moment. 

“Just wanted to thank you actually. Natasha said you helped with lots of stuff and all. Thanks”, Sam babbled slightly. 

 

“Sure thing, you can always count on me, you know that.” 

 

Sam nodded and patted Steve on the shoulder.

“Oh, and one last thing! Be careful with Brock, he can be an awful lot of trouble.”

“Let me do my fair amount of flirting and you go get back to Nat! Doesn’t she miss you by now?”, Steve joked and took a look at his imaginary watch.

“I’m all hers now my friend! She finally asked me to make it serious!”

Steve laughed with him.  
Exactly how she had told him, perfect.   
He couldn’t be happier for the two of them though he already dreaded them hanging around at his apartment and behaving like sick little lovebirds.   
Better than Sam’s constant whining he supposed.

They parted ways and Steve took a sip, he noticed it was his last, from his disgusting drink.   
His head was pleasantly buzzing, most worries swept aside for another day.

He left the party people behind for the kitchen, needed some silence to collect himself.   
Well, it was not exactly silent but definitely a few volumes down.   
He felt the floor vibrating under his feet from the bass and wondered if it was actually that bad or if it was just his drunk imagination. 

He gulped down a glass of water in hopes to minimize the aftermath that was about to come tomorrow morning. 

 

Steve didn’t hear the footsteps approaching, startled when he got spoken to.

“Sorry, didn’t know anyone was in he- Steve?”

He turned around facing Bucky.   
Just now Steve could fully notice him, his eyes roaming over that olive green shirt Bucky was wearing.   
It was tight but not too revealing.   
Steve liked the sight and had to repress a hum that was forcing its way up his throat.  
Damn, he was drunk.

“Hm…?”, he brought out looking up to catch Bucky’s eyes.

The other man cautiously pointed to the room he had just come from as if to make a point. 

“Needed some space…uhm. Do you mind if I stay for a couple of minutes?”, he asked almost shyly.   
He didn’t know what to make of Steve’s silence. 

“Sure sure”, Steve gestured wildly with his arms, “help yourself! My pleasure…” 

“I don’t even need to ask IF you are drunk but HOW drunk are you exactly?”, Bucky chuckled.

Steve took a moment to think.

“A couple of beers…”

Bucky bemusedly raised an eyebrow.

“…And some shots…many.”

“Going all in today, huh?”

Steve nodded lowering his head to watch the ground.   
Why did he feel like a caught child?

Bucky sat down at the kitchen table and placed the beer he held in his hand on top.  
He had basically just wanted to escape the crowd for a few minutes.   
Socializing wasn’t exactly the worst thing for him and he had even been encouraged to do so when he got out of prison, but it required energy.   
At least to him it was some kind of effort, especially with strangers he had to be polite to, even if he didn’t feel like it, and introducing himself over and over again, stating his name, job and background.

He wasn’t very keen on telling everybody he’d spent last year in prison so he cleverly talked his way around it.   
Fortunately, it seemed like he could count on Natasha and Steve to not out him to a bunch of strangers.

Not that he would’ve expected it from them but you never knew. 

And now he found himself in a closed space with that handsome co-worker of his who was just too precious for him to handle.  
Steve wasn’t exactly much younger than himself and still he felt protective over that boy.   
Which was no good as Bucky knew he wasn’t exactly the best influence for a shining, straight A veterinary student. 

He knew his likings were painfully obvious.   
After that painting incident he hadn’t dared to ask Natasha if it had anything to do with him.   
He had gone too far, still less far than he would’ve liked to, but he had not wanted to make Steve uncomfortable.  
He had failed obviously; he was no idiot to notice that, though when she had told him on her own that Steve was just sick he had felt some kind of relief. 

She had probably lied to him anyway but he didn’t care.

Bucky cautiously eyed Steve as he always did when he wasn’t sure how to handle his behavior.

 

Now Steve was quiet, not even embarrassingly blabbering as he mostly did when Bucky was around.   
It was most likely because he was shit drunk.  
Not enough to not notice anything around him anymore but definitely enough to not be his usual self.

Steve coughed lightly coming to sense again. 

“Uhm…would you like some water?”, he asked Bucky expectantly.  
“Sure, why not. I’m not wasted, but water can’t hurt.”

Steve filled the glass he had used himself before and went over to the table about to set it down right before Bucky stood up himself.   
He awkwardly placed the glass in his hands, careful to avoid the other’s fingers. 

Bucky mumbled a silent ‘thanks’ before setting the glass to his lips. 

Steve watched it in awe, easily blending out the fact he was a staring creeper. 

 

“You know,” Bucky started when he had set down the glass, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable last time.”

Steve knew what he was getting at, the memory, now fresh on his mind, made him shudder slightly.  
If Bucky noticed he at least didn’t address it.

“No…don’t worry it’s perfectly fine.”

Steve didn’t know what else to answer.   
In all honesty if it had happened under different circumstances, he would’ve more than likely welcomed every single one of these silly accidents.   
Bucky made his skin prickle with excitement and he loved that feeling, always had.   
But he didn’t dare to make a move on him.   
Even now, all drunk and full of courage, he was slightly scared by this guy he barely knew. 

With these soft dark-brown eyes, this messy hair loosely tied in a bun, and the sharp jawline.   
Steve was lost in Bucky’s face.  
A face that was way too close... and oh, he hadn’t said something in some time.  
It was hilariously obvious that he was staring.   
Well, Bucky found it hilarious.   
Steve was a little shocked feeling the oncoming embarrassment. 

Ah, there it was, Bucky thought, that familiar red tint on Steve’s cheeks that crept all over his face and made his neck blotchy. 

So, the little punk did have a thing for him as he had guessed.

Had Steve even realized Bucky had a thing for him as well?

Flustered, Steve averted his eyes.   
Just before he got to turn away he felt a warm hand spread over his on the counter and holding him back.   
Surprised he laid eyes on their hands, Bucky’s on top of his.

Instinctively his eyes wandered to Bucky’s again who had a soft smile planted on his face. 

“No need to panic, pretty boy.”

He seemed so relaxed to Steve, so cool.

“Don’t ever call me pretty boy again, jerk.”, he answered lightly grinning back at him.   
The alcohol even enhanced that prickly feeling he now noticed.  
Bucky moved closer to him, almost so as Steve did earlier that night towards Brock, but Bucky’s move seemed softer, less competitive.   
He didn’t take on a challenge.

Steve felt encouraged.   
The alcohol did its deed but he couldn’t deny that there were no questions left on Bucky’s intentions. 

He gently laid his hand at the other man’s side and pulled him even more towards him, their hips frontally bumping into each other. 

Then Bucky asked something, Steve wouldn’t have expected for the mere fact that it was already obvious.

“Can I kiss you?”

Steve took a moment.   
Of course, he wanted to scream.   
But as quickly as that question had left him confused on how there should be any doubt now, as quickly he recognized Bucky did not move any further in the slightest.   
He really wanted Steve’s permission.

It was the loudest silence Steve had ever encountered when he slowly nodded.   
He braced himself for what was about to come, what he had dreaded for quite some time now.   
Bucky’s question had made this situation all too real now and suddenly Steve felt nervous again.  
Nervous but excited. 

Before he could get lost in his head, Bucky eagerly closed the gap between them.  
His lips were soft, slightly chapped and he smelled amazing.   
Steve took a deep breath and opened his mouth slightly inviting Bucky to go all in. 

He noticed he lacked a bit of precision due to the alcohol but for now he was way to overwhelmed by the action itself.   
He couldn’t get enough of Bucky, Bucky who now cupped his face with one hand pressing his thumb in Steve’s cheek to open his mouth even further and explored him with his tongue.  
He would spend all night doing this if he could.   
Steve tilted his head to get better access and felt his knees going weak at the touch of Bucky’s hands.

They were abruptly interrupted by a drunk Scott sadly. 

“Heee—oooh, sorry! Didn’t see you guys there! Where’s the bathroom?!”, He asked way too loud, probably deafened by the loud music. 

Steve turned away from the kiss to answer Scott. It took some attempts for his voice to steady. 

“Right over there, pal”, he pointed to the door right on the other side. 

“Thanks!”

Just like that it was silent again. 

Steve felt sobered up though he knew that couldn’t be.  
But his head felt clear and all to alerted.  
Bucky remained close to him but didn’t say a word in order to give Steve some time to think. 

 

“Well…that was… nice.” 

“Don’t start panicking, pretty boy.”

“I am not… maybe a little.” 

Bucky let out a huff and moved away.   
Not exactly what he wanted, but it felt like the right thing to do.   
It was even harder to manage when Steve’s eyes suddenly shot up to him, as if he was begging him to stay, and examined his face.

“Maybe we should get back in there again.”, Steve suggested. 

“Good idea”, Bucky said, not fully convinced.

“Go ahead, I’ll follow you in five minutes. I need some more time. “

Steve nodded and pushed himself away from the kitchen counter.   
He was half-way out the door when Bucky stopped him. 

“And one thing.”, he spoke up. 

Steve turned around again, one hand on the doorframe. 

“Would you mind not hooking up with Sam’s co-worker? At least not when I am in the room?”

Steve blinked, taken aback by the request but finding himself to quickly agree before he turned again and left for the music.

This was a request he was somehow happy to oblige.


End file.
